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King Solo (1-1) vs. Pen N' Paper (3-1)
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday
No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Drakel or Drama Queen). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. If you dont ask for an extention, and drop whenever you feel like it you will be disqualified. Do not abuse extentions, they are not to be used if you're just too lazy to drop within the confines of the circumstances. Leave reasonable explanation for your absense. If the League notices you are a slacker due to this nature you will be banned for being out-right slothfully callous. Don't ho-show because you will be banned if you do it twice. We can understand you cannot drop due to certain circumstances but if this happens a second time, you're banned from the league for 2 weeks. If you signed up for both leagues and you no-show in one league twice, you will be banned in both leagues! Try to limit the freeposts, we will have a chat/beef thread for that. Also give fully explained votes, if not your votes won't count! New rule: first to get 3 votes wins by KO Your Topic: Breaking Point |
ok check like always and g/l king solo..........1
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nice topic.................checkity, good luck.............:shoot:
STANZA vs. ILLUMATIC KEIN WITZ vs. THE REVELATION STANZA vs. H-N-I-C vs. DAUBS |
....I’m in the verge of collapsing after the shots wounded my heart
I was in the park when I heard the shots fired my eyes felt the sparks Was in a state of shock... ...when this happened and I can still feel the laugh that was so vile Started to run, started tripping over nothing, ran to my house after a mile, I fell to the floor, didn’t know where I was now didn’t know the direction Scream toward the floor and got lost in my squeals couldn’t face my inflection The action dented my face, and trusted my heart on what I used and spent Couldn’t pop my collar for a dollar cuz I broke my collar bone for a cent .
. . Now in the present remembering what happened during the past hurt my feelings Couldn’t hold it too much so became insane I’m falling apart and there’s no healings I guess I wasn’t right my corrections made my emotions felt so wrong and long To grasp, so I let it go my ambience and it erupted cuz I was weak and not strong . . . I cried my eyes out when the pain in me broke out and it hurt for many years A century past and my cheeks could still feel the stained wetness of my tears So as my brain got rough and my skull and cranium broke in my sleeping head I wish I could go back but I cant now cuz im painless in the grave when im dead... |
All my life feeling conflicted, born with a dark seed imbedded in my heart With tendrils reaching to my brain to tear my pleasant thoughts apart Twisting my beliefs and swallowing them into a never-ending hole Casting its shadow of hatred over me in its attempts to envelop my soul The challenge to keep it hidden from the world only added fuel to the fire With hope in the front of my mind, dark thoughts in the back would conspire Always plagued by chaotic visions in my head, pent up rage built up inside Clouding my good judgement, my darkness revealed, no longer could I hide It consumed me completely, the light within I struggled my hardest to find But my other side was unleashed; my Jekyll emerged and buried my Hyde I have reached my breaking point, the strain of striving to keep my disguise Only gave assistance to the blackness I held and completed my demise I once had the strength to fight it, but now my conscience is debilitated Giving in to my constant rage, gone are my hopes of being rehabilitated Going through my rebirth into a human reconstruction of torment and pain My head housing the suffering, permanently detached from my sanity chain But now I am removed from the world, I am nothing but an empty shell Rocking back and forth in a black void as I sit alone in my padded cell |
Pen&Paper- You had an weird Approach which i didnt like. It kinda seems that you skip the whole plot and got str8 point to it...which was good but, you didn't pull it off very well. I liked your emotion which was alright, i've seen better from you and tell you the truth this wasn't your best. The imagery was ok...Like I said before..I've seen better from you. The words in your verse was basic...Didn't really had a good balance of good vocabulary.Overall Ok verse.
KingSolo- Alright, I liked your verse cause of the Approach you took. The imagery was good. The emotion needs to be upp a little. You had an good vocab balance in your verse. But It seems still to me that I didnt get what you're trying to say, I mean what was the breaking point in you?..But overall- Good verse. Overall=Pen&Paper, I'm sorry but I'mma have to vote for LL cool K, basically he came more with the imagery and he edge it with the emotion and vocabs. Like I said before Pen&Paper I didnt like your approach, plus your imagery wasn't potrait better than LL Cool K. Vote LL Cool K |
thnx.
and just for you tweety...........an explanation for the breaking point...... a person who has a dark side to them but constantly tries to hide it from the world and the strain of trying to keep it hidden is too much........hence the person reaches their breaking point and just gives in to the darkness and goes insane.......... |
Hmmm...
Pen: Honestly, this felt like a verse someone who thinks vocab and imagery wins topicals. Your story line wasn't that creative, and I am sick of seeing an ending being someone dying. Overall, not very creative, only thing that was decent was vocab, but it didn't really fit the verse. Overall, your verse just felt forced the whole way, and nothing that creative. Solo: Nice approach. Not extremely creative, but not too bad. I liked the emotion too. Your vocab felt forced as well, but not too bad. Imagery can be improved, but overall I think that your creativity won this for you. v- Solo |
Voting has closed, Solo or LL Cool K whatever wins this shit
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