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Thirty Lines To Make You Smile

THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4 Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!

20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With that?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

..................random

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

^^^thats gansta word.;

Lol no 7. cracked me up...some funny shit in there

28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

^^ that made me laugh lol coz it's sop true

24.. is my fav.....................lol

24 and 27....word, man

the majority of those were stupid...........but i did enjoy the mad cow disease one

Quote:

Originally Posted by B-MAC

THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4 Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
Damn, that is true.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
Never thought of it that way.

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
HAHA, WORD!

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
Is there another reason to take NyQuil?

13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!
Maybe later...-_-

20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With that?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
LMFAO. That is like, siggable! :laugh:

25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Who's seen that episode of Family Guy where Peter gets his own theme music?

29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Yup. I do that a lot.

Bold are ones I found funny, italics are my comments.

7 and 16 were funny as hell g lmfao

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

is dope.