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My Mirror Image
My Mirror Image
The mirror was reflective of my emotions Pale face, blue lips, fingertips touching devotion. Making motions to recite a letter, written anew, Spoken to few, It’s been hidden from you. Hidden from view, the mirror was only reflective In a defective perspective…I read my objective, “If I could be selective, baby, I’d always do you right, I’d hold your hand in the day, and not just the night. Let’s end the fighting, girl, I never meant to go wrong, I thought we had something special, I even wrote it in song. But yet we don’t get along, it’s the same in your dreams Because you know I’m watching you, even when you sleep.” A sigh of relief fogged the mirror with vapors, As I tossed my poem onto a stack of newspapers. It tapered off as interest in the mirror was created. The pupils beneath my stretched eyelids were dilated. Remained jaded, awaiting to enlighten my girl, Prepared my poem again… For she was my world. I reached for the poem but the news line jolted my spine, “Stalker shot down while out of line on Bryne Drive”. The clock read 10:35, I had heard nothing prior to then. The mirror copied my move and applied lipstick again. Curling my hair with a pen, a nervous wreck… The temp hit the deck as a chill ran down my neck. I needed some comfort, so I got up to leave, “Wait… what the fuck? Oh God, this isn’t me”. I walked down the hall, while looking into the mirror The reflection was clear… I had simply disappeared. I was never a thing to her, just a creep at most… But she’ll always hear my poems… For I am a ghost. |
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this was really good. your flow was basic to the point of poem rather than rap but the story line was solid and the whole mirror thing like is a metaphor for how shes only concerned with herself. i think, nice drop
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lol, ^ close but no.
its about a stalker whos obsessive with this girl, then the girl kills him, and he becomes a ghost. he doesnt realize hes dead, and he sits infront of the mirror reciting a poem he wrote for her. then he sees the headline of "stalker gets shot" and realizes that the mirror image isnt him... its the girl. the girl then walks away and leaves him looking into the mirror, and seeing no reflection...because hes a ghost. ya dig'? |
ok, i get it now thanks to ^, lol.........this was a good drop, flowed well and vocab was ok, might want to think of audio with this, in some spots there are hints for usin voice effects, but anyway good drop man, keep it up
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a little to deep and out there for my style of rap but i love the vocabulary and rhyme scheme
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thanks still lookin for more feed...................
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*gets all his posts from upping threads that are slept on*
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still lookmin for feedback... and adhearing to the new OM rules:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2285909 |
this was a good drop... it was very creative...good imagery...nice wordplay..and vocab usuage... nice feeling's and emotions going into this drop...i can tell you took time out to do this peice... Overall it was a good drop....nice flow...and good structure... keep it up .. nice job 8/10
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Very nice drop, felt a poetic vibe comin on
Your very descriptive with words, and i like that......Your scheme was working well, and your choice of vocabulary was superb and excellent...........and advanced lol Overall this was very dope homie, im looking foward to see some more from you, keep it up and never give up `1 check out The Escape |
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