This That Cocaine Flo Right Here
 

When it come to a girl i like em nice and thick
a down ass girl thats my type of chick
thats not triflin likes to ride a dick
and down to try all types of shit
u now ridin gettin higher askin why i
never said nothin cuz i knew that u were feelin shine
but i'll let u find it out not waist my time
done let to many bitches take my time
i know them other boys holla at ya girl but they aint shine
only one that could have u in that state of mind like
FUCK IT we could drive dont ever wanna have to see nothin here ever again
i'd love u as my wife but i'd like u better as a friend
sorry babygirl but thats just how it is
someone gotta give and yo it isnt gon be me
far as u go well i guess we gonna have to see
i just know after me u gon be mad at me
just wanted to say thats not how it has to be
u dont have to leave i could tell u i love u everything could be fine
im so sick and tired of all these bitches hatin on shine
say hes a playa everyday he stayin different places
hey shawty whats yo name im not that good with faces
dont get it twisted in the hood the boy good with the blazers
like im from portland where he get it from is not important
know its imported got u snortin shit from cross the border
flown to florida and on a track the boy flows like water
and he a mac u better get ya daughter


Thats that dope shit holla back

Yo the flow was aiite but a lil help to elevate:

Use syllables....count syllables per bar (2 lines) they should be the same so spittitng will be easy and flow aswell

Up youre vocab and imagery...the best way for a rapper to express what he is trying to say is to use good vocabulary and also to voice your opinion you want to paint a picture...so be piccaso and paint the picture for me

Also use wordplay...like this for example:

Im slow, u a sprinter, and you still coming last
Cos I got a marathon of punches comin 2 u fast,

Dyou get it?...sprinter and marathon?...it keeps the reader intrested

Also use multies...like:

Im multi-tastic, fight with me nigga ill bring the automatic,
Im fantastic, make you feel me in ure stomach like lactic

Its a whack rhyme but it contains multies......

Hope this helps, the only reason Im doin this is because I see potential in you....normally I wouldnt do this....I will help you out if you need ya dig....jus holla atch ya boi...pm me if u dont understand anything

thanx for the feedback and criticism

i gotta question whats a dig

i can see that you've got potential so you're in....
holla at me in my Lyrically Defined thread to confirm...
peace fam

Shine..it jus means like do u understand lol

uppin...............

LMFAO

Wow...^^ Dawg dont listen to this dude...

Thoses arent multies lol