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Tweety (6-1) vs. Hopesfall (0-0)
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday
No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Drakel or Drama Queen). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. If you dont ask for an extention, and drop whenever you feel like it you will be disqualified. Do not abuse extentions, they are not to be used if you're just too lazy to drop within the confines of the circumstances. Leave reasonable explanation for your absense. If the League notices you are a slacker due to this nature you will be banned for being out-right slothfully callous. Don't ho-show because you will be banned if you do it twice. We can understand you cannot drop due to certain circumstances but if this happens a second time, you're banned from the league for 2 weeks. If you signed up for both leagues and you no-show in one league twice, you will be banned in both leagues! Try to limit the freeposts, we will have a chat/beef thread for that. Also give fully explained votes, if not your votes won't count! New rule: first to get 3 votes wins If you dislike the topic, you have to contact your opponent and agree on a different one Your Topic: Hollow Voices Spent |
Heh. Checking in...................................
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I dont like the topic. contact me about it.
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What the hell, i said i didnt like it, just give me 3 and ill go with them.
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Alright whatever, ill just make something up fast.
A set of.... beautiful lips, planting a kiss, my wrists just missed the slip... of razor, im hallowed out, screaming- loudly, mind cloudy and i die inside, gleaming- my eyes and anger, steaming. disruption, corruption, of course... erupting, she tells me we're done, why i plead and bargain, she hardened, im hung, She tells me to recall the day, when i would say whats true, tell her to- "take my hand, ill be everything... to you." and now it's... [i]Take my hand, ill take everything, from you"... Im sorry, with everything i am, i apologize... for my shortcomings. |
*edit* i fucked up the italics. and added the bolds... read them
Alright whatever, ill just make something up fast. A set of.... beautiful lips, planting a kiss, my wrists just missed the slip... of razor, life is hallowed out, screaming, loudly, hung over, mind cloudy and i die inside, gleaming. my eyes and anger, steaming. disruption, corruption, of course... erupting, she tells me we're done, why i plead and bargain, she hardened, im hung, She tells me to recall the day, when i would say whats true, tell her to- "take my hand, ill be everything... to you." and now it's... Take my hand, ill take everything, from you"... Im sorry, with everything i am, i apologize... for my shortcomings. |
I lay there patiently, thinking about this life I'm giving He's curled up in my stomach, I can feel his kicking Agony of pain, erupts in my stomach, And I say "Ouch" I thank god for this little creature, that lays in my pouch I started to sweat, feets kicking, and I starts to scream Husband came in with a shock look. His tears weap Holding my hand tightly, Laucious lips of his, on my cheek I scream again and louder this time, felt the agony reek With my eyes lids trying to stay open, I'm fainting away Pair of my husband hand holding to me mine.."Please stay" I woke up, heavily breathing, and hearing voices everywhere Full of sweats, through clench teeths, breathing out despair Agony still shuddered pain in my vagina, my 2 lungs hurt Tightly Holding my husband hands, felt like an anal birth Pushing Pushing, every time I breathe out, I start to quiver Like an rose menapausing it opened up and it was finally over An Naked human body came out of my stomach, wailing I was Happy and relieved, Heavy salty tears came dragging Looked in his eyes, my heart melted, like hot red candy Fained right there, with my baby in my arms...sleeping I woke up, sighted my baby in another women arms With an Baffled expression as the women smile w/ a charm In my head, Confused, I was heated mad "Give me my baby" With an utter surprised the women didnt take no effort by thee A paper was sighted infront of me with my hand signature on it "Adoption", I started to shake, and say to myself "Please re-wind it" The women walked away with my baby, I started to swing my fist Choked on tears, As she walked away with god creation i been bliss with I hear it cries out in the hall, I was devastated, and so broke into pieces Tears Coursed down on my cheeks, With the cry still stuck in my head. |
Wtf is up with that small ass font?
I'll edit this with a vote later.. |
Yeah, people are stupid... you arent an artist fool, you just make the font small to attempt to make it sophisticated, stupid, talent already twisted by a websites expectations. disgusting.
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hopesfall.......a little short, quick and simple but an ok piece i guess, a hard topic to do but it was approached well and you managed to pull off a little sumthin, vocab wise i dont think you was all up there, there was some imagery and you had that hidden little bit between the lines so nice shit with that....
tweety......dope piece, a good approach to the topic and a nice delivery with which you stayed on point all the way through, you had a lot of imagery in your verse which is always good, i liked the emotion in it, as always the vocab was dope, not 100% consistent with the usual complexity you demonstrate but still a really good read.... V/ - Tweety |
hopesfall-ok it was good but kinda short and not sructurized either had some imagery and some vocab and thats good really need to work on the structure part as well......and kinda a creative part with that end of a quote there but that kinda felt more like poetry u kno but ur doin good u kno just keep practivin and ull elevate.....
Tweety- now this was good nice structure and flow to it good vocab and lines and emotion and imagery very good piece really like this piece cuz just tha fact u came good wit emotion here as well as the imagery very good....... v/ tweety.....good cuz just brung more emotion and imagery to the piece and had a better vocab and structure and was just a lil better........but good job to the both of u and keep it up aight....... plz vote on my topical battle in HT against propain for a good honest vote....thnx u in advance....... |
tweety got this... showed alot more imagination and emotion.. it was alot longer aswell which helped.... flow was better basically everything was better than hopesfall verse..
v/ tweety |
3-0 K.O to tweety
Closed- E.C |
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