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Limited Edition vs Paroxysm
Battle Rules:
6 - UNLIMITED Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting TOPIC - Pride Minimum posts to vote: 45 Check in by: 07-22-05 at 02:45 PM Must drop verse in 1440 minutes after check in. |
Paroxysm has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-22-05 01:45 PM.
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Limited Edition has ACCEPTED this battle on 07-22-05 02:03 PM.
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"The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only PRIDE and ostentation." - William Hutton
At the pub alone seated unfocused from Tequila, Held a shaggy wallet picture of her... I miss you Sheila Diluted with intoxicants impairing my brain I hunch depressed swept the shot glasses out of my way Although I knew of what became that made us broken in bond These memories we shared together now were shattered and gone Beside the glass reflected scene aside the window I sat Scanned the city nights recallin' where we use to be at On the corner... right there... on 23rd and Sycamore That's where I gathered bravery confessin love metaphors To my bed.. held together lovin, sex on the floor I reflected back the visions of affection we poured Enamored deeply... I stood to pay my drink and then left Into the streets humming barely ventilating a breath My broken english was drowned with leery slurs in my speech My arms extended hoping balance would be seen in my reach Thru the streets I descended huddled deep in my coat Till a noise awoke me sober to what seemed to be known Out about along the alley some steps ahead of me I peeked the corner to find that I dropped my Hennessey An adolescent teen screamin was grasped in the lips By some middle age Hispanics yappin native tongue shit In a struggle, she slipped to find them sittin on top This girl was uncontainable to let her panties get dropped I froze witness to thinkin this unfortunate event Stood emotionally clutched to see honey get bent To my own intimidation as i stared with no act I had no use of offense to make these neguhz retract Then I ran thru a thought of somethin tragic to seek What if my girl was the one they tried to take in the street To perform brute intentions, violate her morale With reaction to that thought... I instantly went wild In pursuit I charged... took one to the ground Three swings aside his skull and he ceased to make sound The other came attackin, and wielded a knife Jumped upon to shank my heart jeopardizing my life In a struggle I laid held tight to his wrist While he clutched to push his effort with the knife in his fist I glared at the sparkle... the blade to my face Losin' strength to hold my life closing fast in its pace Suddenly... somethin shattered and soon as I blinked He fell on top of me aside with some alcoholic drink Soaked upon me and him.. with fragments of glass The adolescent teen struck him... and his conscious went past But as I raised myself.. pain struck on my chest I felt the crushing sensation of his knife on my breast I froze gettin shivers... I was losing much blood The girl yelled out for help.. my hands graspin on mud (48) I dug.. inside my pocket... the picture I took Held my honey soaked in blood.. and took 1 last look Then I croaked... at the adolescent... touched on her chin Placed the photo on her hands.... ...my life came to an end. (From a distant.. the teen covers her face with the photo in her hand crying.... as the heroic teen lays... dead... and a image of a broken Hennessey bottle dripping steadily and slowly into a gutter as the scene fades out.) End. |
My self esteem is dropping, I shudder under this open light... My silent scream is stopping, thunder shouting no hope in sight... The clock was ticking, slowly remiding me of my own misery... All's I have left is my pride, and the rest of me is just history... ...Pride... The word echoes, spinning tranquil voices into my visions... The reason I don't end it now, barrier of regretfull decisions... The dirt around my feet reminds me of everything I have... The knife in my back shows me how nobody will understand... The rags on my shoulders sends a message from my family... Their words slowly damage me, why do I have to be a tragedy..? My bare feet are covered in glass, as I walk on burning coals... But if I had lossed everything you wouldn't see this hurting soul... ...Breakin' My Balls For Somethin' That's Great... ...It's Makin' Me Fall And It's Somethin' I Hate... The words of my own song pound my face relentlessly... The rain pouring down on my pride is falling so endlessly... But no matter what happens...I will find a way to survive... You can take my clothes, my body...but you wont take my pride... |
Voted For: Paroxysm
great verse there...... u came out hard on top wit good verses and i can tell that your fav topics pride....and u truly earned my pride |
Voted For: Limited Edition
ok nice topical battle here very good at the imaginative from both competitors they were both very imaginative so good job at it.... LE- Ur verse was very good structure was good and flow and had that emotion there too...as well and the vocab was aight u could work on that..... P-ok ur verse was good as well nice verse from the strucutre but didnt really like the verse cuz didnt really have enough of that emotion u kno u need to work more on that emotion but besides that u did a very good job..... V/ LE cuz the verse had more emotion and at the same time a better structure..but good job from the both yall both did good bt my v/ goes to LE |
RTF wit a honest vote in my battles links are in my sig or vote gets removed
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1-1 lets get some more votes in here please thanks people
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Quote:
You actually call this a vote..? It is unexlpained...this shouldn't count. |
Bizumpin for some more votes thanks guys.................
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Voted For: Limited Edition
yo both yall was tight but ima finna give iyt to limted idditon cuz it was more deep an shit pz homie!! 1!! |
Quote:
This really shoudln't count either...but we're even now... Uppin'...I will return favors... |
Uppin'...........
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Uppin' for fuck sakes...been mad slept on..........
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