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Devil's Advocate
. . . Fiery intense of burning ambition… took place inside One of the darkest places that would be too scared to hide Closely the beast breathing behind… Goosebumps in fear It was so clear… the bad breath of raw eggs seem to appear In a dark rock volcanoes explode more often time goes slow Stuck wit melting shoes… can’t escape the bright red glow Dark and evil… similar to what psycho’s like in they life Knife cut so swiftly through the flesh to begin his strife . . . The sky turns red… blue isn’t no more as they start to arrive People on earth die escaping through, trying just to survive Then something happens it rains… god tears fall from the air Still no one cares the repercussions its nothing as fire flares Suicidal news cutting veins, carbon monoxide, and they hung Breathing too hard… these things we cant see to feel in lungs Too much of it makes us insane… we cant handle when we work They losing all their energy in speaking they starting to go berserk . . . As he end is coming so soon we don’t see it…but its in minutes We’ll see all the corruptions wounded and deaths we see in clinics So vital and futile we see it in our pupils its just a contaminated disease We cant take the pain so we fall down… and some land on their knees The evil makes his hand so stiff… bloody fingers and turns into a fist Secretly and discretely hides the wrongs and decides to burn the list As hell breaks through our mind… and in the sky heaven opens the gates We try to deny it but really we kno that we are all the Devil’s Advocate . . . |
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this was good, liked the topic, flow was good, vocab was decent, structure was good also, stayed on subject well, keep it up
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a nice topic, flow was dope throughout, i liked the use of vocabs in this piece, a lot of complexity to it, delivered a nice bit of imagery and emotion to the whole verse.....
overall 8/10 |
this was good, liked the topic, flow was good, vocab was decent, structure was good also, stayed on subject well, keep it up
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nice man I liked the flow and image, I would have liked it more if there was a storyline not jsut a telling of sumthing ya know..I think it'd be more interesting, ok emotion great structure just a great piece man keep writing 7/10 I woulda like a storyline a lot...hit my Oms up please
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