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-   -   Dissapearing Clouds (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202243)

vague 07-30-05 01:43 AM

Dissapearing Clouds
 
Dissapearing Clouds

A cloaked man, provoked but not convinced with his status
Sauntered up the stratosphere and unearthed an apparatus
The clouds revealed a lattice where business was transacted
They protracted and impacted with extracted distractions
And were acted, not through reaction, but ample creation

A sanctioned station; secluded but not positively unknown
Sacred to many, a home…
………………..The clouds broke and a voice spoke alone
It intoned prone probing, coping with faithful assumption
The discussion spoken, entailed the man’s own consumption
The cloud’s second function, tipped precipitation on dead ground

The man awoke in his impound, drowning in his possessions
His dream had professed an impression; a new found obsession
He had nothing to question – just his mind’s expression was art
Concealed in the dark, sharks circled in as he pieced together an ark
Stark farce and gale force winds exploded from above…

Like the wings of a dove, animals came in pairs with hiatus
The clouds had created death while the greatest embraced it
They repopulated, the storm changed the face of the land
The face of the man, was later buried in sand
Animals slandered the land, which a new man could soon perceive

*The clouds part*

So it came to be, God would develop a story with Adam and Eve.
Noah had a covenant agreed, but he forgot an ally to breed
And so you can see, the day that God invented greed.

*The sky darkens again*



Daubs - Fight Night

Daubs 07-30-05 10:08 AM

Wow, this was dope seriousely.

The imagery throughout was dope as was the vocab.

The structure was decent and the piece had a consistent flow also.

The man awoke in his impound, drowning in his possessions
His dream had professed an impression; a new found obsession
He had nothing to question – just his mind’s expression was art
Concealed in the dark, sharks circled in as he pieced together an ark

^^Was especially good.

Come to LL.

vague 07-30-05 10:50 PM

thanks man, lookin for some more feed, leave a link and ill def. get back to you

Sick. 07-30-05 10:53 PM

really painted a picture in my head... liked the topic... good vocab no doubt...
vocab - 8/10
flow - 7/10
topical - 8/10

overall like a 7.5/10

return tha favor on this OM.. id appreciate it
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...2323&styleid=14

vague 07-31-05 03:53 PM

^ done. drop some more links yo,

Crazy Hades 07-31-05 03:58 PM

Gongshow, huh? Well, your multis are as fire-ful as an inferno of banana impalers. The concept is an original waffle in itself, a vortex of pure unadulterated horror only percieved through the words of a dictionary. Your flow was off the chain like broken links laying on the warm ground of Satan's left nipple and stuff.

In all, good. 8/10

vague 07-31-05 04:02 PM

...was that a fuckin mad lib? lmaoooooo

Crazy Hades 07-31-05 04:04 PM

Return the favor on my Divining Rod my mister from a kisser sister.

MADDRAPPER 07-31-05 04:21 PM

tell me how you feel my link(http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202384)

Fight to prevail so I bite my nails nervous as hell, don’t get service well with responses so I’m corrupt and loco having a cup of cocoa eating a red fried bagel from the bedside table this season a complex attraction need a reason for sex action

Daubs 07-31-05 04:22 PM

Your so fuckin wack^.

Crazy Hades 07-31-05 04:25 PM

My verse > Maddrapper's, anyday.

You should hold me, Daubs. It'd be productive.

MADDRAPPER 07-31-05 04:31 PM

cats call me whack but can't come with tall fact its all an act to cover the truth, i got a trademark but you afraid of the dark pussy, not a hood survivor just wood fibers to be popped and chopped by an ax you not hot on wax likke famous rappers

Crazy Hades 07-31-05 04:34 PM

...What in the FUCK does that mean? What the hell is a 'tall fact'? Your wackness is an act to cover the truth that we're afraid of dark pussy? That we don't live in the hood but Maddrapper does and he's a survivor, and we're 'wood fibers' who're popped?

Who the hell is 'hot on wax' at all? So, you're saying I'm the same as a famous rapper because we're not hot on wax...cool.

Christianite 08-01-05 12:22 AM

this was good man, was really feelin it, flow and structure were good, vocab was good also, liked the topic, overall this was a good read, keep it up man

MADDRAPPER 08-01-05 12:33 AM

excuse me but You're not smart worth a fart boy if you can't put that verse together damn teacher must've been a broken leg horse dumb fuck


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