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the line
genius. my rhetorical insight is being noticed
by people who need to see it and anyone else who approaches the "dopest", who cares if the real me's understood just as long as they like it and get off the old me's wood seem like i'm always given people the censored version, shit, even my pops still thinks i'm a virgin unnervin' ain't it, to see real niggaz be real and rep tru, like they not afraid to be killed genius. it's what my teachers called me when they thought i was fine then realized they were too blind to see i had crossed the line the thin one between genius and crazy that nobody sees til they yell and unleash the hell that was trapped inside me now they can't kill the real me or push me back across the line i'm like Frankenstein, u gave me life now u can't take away mine. -thank u to the ones who gave me this THUGLIFE and understands what it really means. The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everyone. it's not my fault, u fucked yourself. -Chip |
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never did get any feedback for this one, uppin'
link:http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ewpost&t=194418 |
This was ok, it wasn't really poem material,it was more like an open mic, with rhymes and the way it flowed, it wasn't bad, but if you wrote more to it, you could put this in open mic forum. It had the content of that type of piece also.
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thank u very much for the feedback........ i rap, so most of my poetry flows like i'm rapping. to me poetry is based on the emotion u put in your work, so i would consider this to be a poem. good lookn on the feed, ad check out some more of the poems in my sig.
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hey dis was a solid piece!:)i mean i aint from ohio but god way to rep lol; uhm yea dis was more like a spoken word piece; but i understand dat i tend to do pieces like there sometimes as well; but overall erything was good
vocab was basic; structure was on point...keep up da good work. |
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