hot 16......
 

check it

i know whats a smart move, my soul is so artfull
sowin my hearts wounds, thru flowin on parchment
brew me a mosh pit-and ill bruise u a bargain
slew u wit carnage-like i knew u at carthage
…the true u is harmless, test me and die quick
when my eyes twitch, i'll eat u alive bitch
ur close to being brokin in two, so get open and lose
what chu hopin to prove, i'll leave u soakin in pools
so what is what, slicin ur face is my only uppercut
u butterscotch, soft and sweet, lodged in a brothers gut
ud be left from me beatin, meet my intestine for speakin
cuz just like a recipe... u were meant to be eatin
so respect me or treason, will be the charge dat ur fed
plus all ur thoughts stink, like u fart in ur head
i asked for susbstance, and u gave a morsil of bread
so fuck what u said,.. i ate ur torso instead
gotta work to be best, i know it herts like a wreck
so small a girl could reach for ur dick, but end up jerkin ur neck
dont think of me in RV, think of my hert and what i'm worth when i sweat
and know, im the worst to expect when u reseachin a vet!
so whats ur purpose my friend... i write verses in pen
ur immersed in worthless garbage and can hardly pretend
so stop wit the shity noise, equiped to leave u stiff when im hitting joints
this city boys "black thought's" will flip u over the "tipping point"
dont make me criss cross ur stichs, let u leak out ur biskit
my motto is live long and spit it, so bring out,Da Bitchs!
u worn like a monks shoe, or torn like a punks shute
so when u say u dropin shit, i know u dont even want to
u drippin and droolin, my mission is movement
while im spittin abusive, ur written is stagnant
so i grip u wit rap text, like a fish in a dragnet
ur a clown wit a sad rep, so bounce, like a bad check

jus want feed bitchs...

dont let the next rhyme i write be about u...
-Prodigy-of Mobb Deep



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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2343099

structure was fucked didnt kow where u were goin wit this, multis were iight vocab was iffy...not bad though 6/10 keep it up and rtf on my om and give real feedback please

gotta work to be best, i know it herts like a wreck
so small a girl could reach for ur dick, but end up jerkin ur neck

favorite line

like the multis alot, seems to be your specialty
no topic matter but who cares?
its called hot 16............

sounds like you were talking bout some one..........

structure was fine... no need to waste too many punches here though
good verse

ur close to being brokin in two, so get open and lose
what chu hopin to prove, i'll leave u soakin in pools
so what is what, slicin ur face is my only uppercut
u butterscotch, soft and sweet, lodged in a brothers gut
^^^
liked those lines alot
the structure was decent i caught the flow fine
and i like the way you mold your wordz

straight even though it was pointless i like the flow of it
definitely the jerkin ya neck joint was the best

upin................................