From Me.
 

I’m one kinda bitch from southside and fallen
Imma gonna give you this while u sit there squallin
Your tears, fallin like acid, imma make ya burn a hole
around ya so u can fall through it,
Rippin ya ego to shreds, ya mind going, ya brain dead.
Ya soul leavin ya body, betta start prayin now, facin
judgement day is how.
Low on the income, high on the horse, don’t know where
I came from, which route I took course.
Gotta interject and pull all ya rejects outta my crib,
cuz this lil girl is nothin u wanna mess with.
Leavin ya helpless in ya time of need, cuz you sit there
and watched ME bleed.
What’s that now, apologizing, wow, you need to just
keep walking
cuz you never were balking.
Keep trashin and bashin me here fo real, I’ll really
get down and on ur level you feel?




my link:http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203164

this peice needs alot of work...
i liked some of the rhymes
but they need to be structured better..
i mean this peice's flow was all over
the place.. couldnt find a good
flow.. kept gettin thrown off
you could be a good emcee no doubt
jus work on the following...

1. make each line end at the same point
this helps with your flow alot..

2. pick a topic.. and stick to it

3. as you progress in ya structure
you can add larger vocabulary and
get into some multis and metas
but for now stick to structure

return tha favor my dude.. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203072

thanks ya'll for da feed, i'll work on it, work in progress.

this was pretty good, flow was kinda hard to follow, not one of your best, sorry, keep it up

yo man i wish i could give you feed i really do...but sick one perfectly laid it out accomplish those 3 things and u will be solid iight man....keep elevatin and postin ya know do ya thing man but in the mean time rtf on my sig links

cool runnings

dude, 2 fast is a girl, in fact my girl, lol