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White Flag - L.I.
Unsuspecting victims seized upon darkness and smoke
Wrists clench to one's throat as the person begins to choke Incisions of the devil are recognized by our prey, it's late Each member of my klan are fiery with passion and hate It may be a little past noon but blackness surrounds us Grass to our knee's, the wind blows in profound gusts The weather may be beautiful but it rains down my face The heart thumping with such speed and no grace There is no blacking out, I'm already arround enough of it My partners have filtered out, now its rocky n rough as shit It's my least favorite part of the job which contain Blood, violence, and gore. it's always the same This is my daily routine of hurtful crimes against humanity & in this group of senseless actions, only truth can see No conscience could bare this racial act of fury Yet repeating these things doesnt get boring Sometimes the sick ones creates stories for the victims Give them fake names, occupations, and then hit em Imitate their death as if humorous in some sort This is only the basis of our schedule, there comes more These coons, niggers, worthless people cant match us We are far more superior than this race of black dust My klans flag brands the color of white and it has a meaning For those of different skin tones in our way will be bleeding My klans flag brands the color of white and it has a meaning For those weak races of color on our land will be screaming My klans flag brands the color of white, recognize us being Those disgusting people will realize the truth and will be fleeing Sorry if this offended anyone. This is based on a mindset more than 200 years ago for a southern man. I'm not racist and don't want anyone to think that. |
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Damn man nice job! good good emotion.......good imagery superb multis man excellent job on those.....ur vocab was in place, cant really complain about it ur structure was tight got a good flow off of it....nice job man.....liked rreading this..keep doin ya thing 8.5/10
RTF on my o/m's in my sig peace |
this was a nice piece fam i liked the vocab alot and it flowed smoothly you know what im saying.9/10 one of the best OM i seen
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Amazing...really good shit man...I was really feelin this I jus gonna nominate you in nominations...
RTF to my "Tainted Soul" it shud be up top sumwhere |
damn... *jaw drops*
the imagery in this was amazing for real.. Each member of my klan are fiery with passion and hate It may be a little past noon but blackness surrounds us Grass to our knee's, the wind blows in profound gusts The weather may be beautiful but it rains down my face The heart thumping with such speed and no grace the emotion right there alone was more than most oms have id give this peice a 9.5/10 .. keep droppin em like this |
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god shit here u got alot of imagery tha vocab was on point, u had it flowing all tha way thru, very creative keep writing fa sho ight
rtf: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204043 |
Real Nice Piece Mayn...
Havent Seen A Drop From You Ina Long Time... Glad To See You Havent Lost It... The Imagery On This Was Of Top Quality... Very Strong With Poetically Sturng Metas Supporting Throughout... Overall Giving The Piece A Raw Realism... But Then Contradicting Itself With Soft Poetisism... I Liked That, Kept The Piece Interesting At All Points... Flow, Nice And Stable, On Point... Structure Was The Same, No Problems There... Overall A Real Strong Piece... Good Jobs Mayn... Please Return The Favor On Me And Vango's New Drop... Called "Hallow Tips Pt. 2": http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ghlight=atticus Thanks Alot Mayn, Stay Up... .One. |
You know i had to nominate this fams
but can you gimme some feed on my shit http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204040 |
This was dope fam,
flow and rhyme scheme was decent as was the vocab, decent imagery and the metas were killin it. 9/10, a decent read. good shit. safe. |
This was a pretty dope drop..i was really feeling it...structure was good..wordplay and vocab was okay..it could have been alittle better it was a little simple to me..but it was good...your feeling and emotions were good ..and i was also feeling your imagery i was really liking the peice..felt it could have been alittle longer..but it was a good drop..keep it up L.I
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RAW shit right here man, first thing i've read by you actually, and it was def enjoyable.
although i will criticize the flow, off at times, but it was easy to step aside due to the strong emotion. imagery was sweet as well.....but in a sense, this was a pretty basic OM, but the simplicity worked, and brought out a gosh darn great picture props to ya man, keep up. |
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