pEACE bACK vs taz
 

Battle Rules:

10-16 LINES
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

3-0 KO
4-1 KO

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 08-11-05 at 03:04 PM

Must drop verse in 30 minutes after check in.

taz has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-11-05 02:35 PM.

Peace Back has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-11-05 02:36 PM.

This dude lost his peace no he is forever whack
Nigga comes up to me askin for his peaceback*
I aint got shit fo ya except a L in ya column
Ill teach ya how to rap make sure u buy all my volumes
You a newbie but aint new to me ill rip ya boy
Cats like you act a fool my bombs deployed
Your a lyrical disaster nigga im ya master bow down
You a bow wow look a like beat me sike laugh out loud
Cant beat me unless you cheat you a biting addict
Rapped for a month beat a couple a chumps now u back at it
Well i caught onto your cheating now slow ya role
Take ya ass back to ya house of crack says stone cold**

*-His name is peace back just some word play i guess
**-stone cold's phrase "Cuz Stone Cold Said So"

^^^^Cant beat me unless you cheat you a biting addict
Rapped for a month beat a couple a chumps now u back at it

to clarify that.......now hes back at biting rhymes again

Yo, you're just another victim by the name of Taz
I'm sending you to lyrical Alcatraz
You spin around pretenging to be a tornado
I'll stomp you on the ground like a ripe tomato
Squeeze your guts out make you bloody and Juicy
You're like Ricky ReTardo from I Love Lucy
You're reduced to a storm but I'm the hurricane
while your boyfriends take turns on you running the train
This battle will be unlike your last bout
Cuz this time YOU'RE gonna get technically knocked out
Call your aunty and your uncle, nephews and nieces
Cuz I'l rip you a new ass and tear you to "peaces"
When I'm done, you'll be on a stretcher wishin
That I didn't just put you in the rap-Tazmission
YOu're biggest mistake is my wrath you unleashed
Join the other losers cuz you've just been peaced


Explanations:
Alcatraz is a high security prison where the worst of the worst are kept.
Taz, the cartoon character, spins in a tornado
Taz(z) the (ex)pro-wrestler does the Tazmission, which is a choke out, finisher move
I said Retardo (like retarded) instead of Ricardo

For those that don't know, when you get the train run on you (usually to a girl), that's when you suck a dick while you're getting fucked from behind

Voted For: taz

This dude lost his peace no he is forever whack
Nigga comes up to me askin for his peaceback*
^^comes up asking you?...give proof..or it's a fake personal...2/10
I aint got shit fo ya except a L in ya column
Ill teach ya how to rap make sure u buy all my volumes
^^didn't rhyme...self glorifing..no punch...2/10
You a newbie but aint new to me ill rip ya boy
Cats like you act a fool my bombs deployed
^^not much of a punch again...2/10
Your a lyrical disaster nigga im ya master bow down
You a bow wow look a like beat me sike laugh out loud
^^finnaly a punch...but weak...4/10
Cant beat me unless you cheat you a biting addict
Rapped for a month beat a couple a chumps now u back at it
^^he beat chumps?...post his battle records to prove it..4/10
Well i caught onto your cheating now slow ya role
Take ya ass back to ya house of crack says stone cold**
^^meh...ur best bar....5/10

Weak verse here Taz.I thought you were not dissing enough.That 1st bar...did he ask you that?If so...post a link...if he didn't...fake personal.2nd and 3rd bars were not punches...they were self glorifing.Focus on dissing.The other bars after were punches..but they were weak.But at least ya flow was ight.

Yo, you're just another victim by the name of Taz
I'm sending you to lyrical Alcatraz
^^flowed bad....weak and basic...1/10
You spin around pretenging to be a tornado
I'll stomp you on the ground like a ripe tomato
^^Not a punch...0/10
Squeeze your guts out make you bloody and Juicy
You're like Ricky ReTardo from I Love Lucy
^^basic....why is he like ricky?..say y...2/10
You're reduced to a storm but I'm the hurricane
while your boyfriends take turns on you running the train
^^c'mon...weak....2/10
This battle will be unlike your last bout
Cuz this time YOU'RE gonna get technically knocked out
^^not a punch....1/10
Call your aunty and your uncle, nephews and nieces
Cuz I'l rip you a new ass and tear you to "peaces"
^^*sigh*....not a punch...1/10
When I'm done, you'll be on a stretcher wishin
That I didn't just put you in the rap-Tazmission
^^weak...1/10
YOu're biggest mistake is my wrath you unleashed
Join the other losers cuz you've just been peaced
^^stop ...just diss....0/10

Ok...you had even more self glorifing that Taz did.About 90% of your verse consisted of it.And the punches you had...had no effect..they were weak.And some just came outta now where.LIke...why is he like that Ricky guy?Say why..don't just say he's like the ricky guy and end it.The Taz from wrestling was a good concept...but executed horribly.

Vote-Taz
RTF BELOW OR THIS VOTE WILL BE REMOVED
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203538

Voted For: Peace Back

I liked both verses.. didnt see much weaknesses.. structure of both was gold.. flow was easily visible.. im gonna give this vote to peace back cuz hes got more punches and better personals.. taz, u had better multis but I couldnt give u the vote just for that.. so this time.. v/peace back

Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation.

Not good feedback phreenapdizzle^ BUT STILL UPPING FOR GOOD WELL EXPLAINED VOTES>>>>>k

Voted For: Peace Back

peace back:
Yo, you're just another victim by the name of Taz
I'm sending you to lyrical Alcatraz
^^^^VERY WEAK OPENER...U DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WITH DIS SHIT
You spin around pretenging to be a tornado
I'll stomp you on the ground like a ripe tomato
^^^NO
Squeeze your guts out make you bloody and Juicy
You're like Ricky ReTardo from I Love Lucy
^^^LMAOOOO....WOW SUPER WACK
You're reduced to a storm but I'm the hurricane
while your boyfriends take turns on you running the train
^^^LOL FUNNY SHIT
This battle will be unlike your last bout
Cuz this time YOU'RE gonna get technically knocked out
^^^NO...WHERE'S YA CREATIVITY DUDE
Call your aunty and your uncle, nephews and nieces
Cuz I'l rip you a new ass and tear you to "peaces"
^^^ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
When I'm done, you'll be on a stretcher wishin
That I didn't just put you in the rap-Tazmission
^^^UR BEST LINE SO FAR FAM...GOOD NAME PLAY
YOu're biggest mistake is my wrath you unleashed
Join the other losers cuz you've just been peaced
^^WEAK CLOSER...


taz:
This dude lost his peace no he is forever whack
Nigga comes up to me askin for his peaceback*
^^^DIS IS NOT WORDPLAY FAM..PLUS U MADE NO SENSE...CAME 2 U ASKIN 4 HIS PEACE BACK??
I aint got shit fo ya except a L in ya column
Ill teach ya how to rap make sure u buy all my volumes
^^NO
You a newbie but aint new to me ill rip ya boy
Cats like you act a fool my bombs deployed
^^^LOL...WHUT DA FUCK
Your a lyrical disaster nigga im ya master bow down
You a bow wow look a like beat me sike laugh out loud
^^^BOW WOW LINES R PLAYED N WACK
Cant beat me unless you cheat you a biting addict
Rapped for a month beat a couple a chumps now u back at it
^^^DIS IS NOT A DISS FAM
Well i caught onto your cheating now slow ya role
Take ya ass back to ya house of crack says stone cold**
^^^^^LMAOOOOOOOOO YO HOW OLD R U FAM..

DIS WAS A WACK ASS BATTLE NO PUNCHLINES...PEACE HAD DA ONLY PERSONAL...SO HE GETS MY VOTE BOTH OF U NEED DA WORK ON YA SHIT 4REAL

hey dude, try not voting if u dont understand...^^

This was feedback posted for taz
 

y0 tHaT sHiT wUz FiRe SuN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uppin for some votes, come on people dont sleep on this shit

Voted For: taz

Blah I'll break this down punch by punch and then show some categories.

This dude lost his peace no he is forever whack
Nigga comes up to me askin for his peaceback*

Ok nameplay, not a great punch or personal

I aint got shit fo ya except a L in ya column
Ill teach ya how to rap make sure u buy all my volumes

No/ self glor and filler.

You a newbie but aint new to me ill rip ya boy
Cats like you act a fool my bombs deployed

No creativity in wordplay sims or metas, no punch, self glor

Your a lyrical disaster nigga im ya master bow down
You a bow wow look a like beat me sike laugh out loud

Huh? Lol this is just confusing but ok punch i guess

Cant beat me unless you cheat you a biting addict
Rapped for a month beat a couple a chumps now u back at it

Would be a dece personal if u had proof

Well i caught onto your cheating now slow ya role
Take ya ass back to ya house of crack says stone cold**

I dont get it... stone cold?

Need to work on losing the self glor and adding more simlies and punching with every bar. Flow was decent.

Yo, you're just another victim by the name of Taz
I'm sending you to lyrical Alcatraz

^No, alcatraz is a prison. for criminals.

You spin around pretenging to be a tornado
I'll stomp you on the ground like a ripe tomato

No creativity. You're just stating facts that arent even personal

Squeeze your guts out make you bloody and Juicy
You're like Ricky ReTardo from I Love Lucy

.....Dope wordplay?

You're reduced to a storm but I'm the hurricane
while your boyfriends take turns on you running the train

what?

This battle will be unlike your last bout
Cuz this time YOU'RE gonna get technically knocked out

no... you're complimenting his last battle

Call your aunty and your uncle, nephews and nieces
Cuz I'l rip you a new ass and tear you to "peaces"

"doesnt mean its wordplay cause its in your name"

When I'm done, you'll be on a stretcher wishin
That I didn't just put you in the rap-Tazmission

nobody watches wrestling...

YOu're biggest mistake is my wrath you unleashed
Join the other losers cuz you've just been peaced

Hell no. Prewritten verse end, no punch at all.

You need extensive work on being creative with wordplay. You have a basic rap foundation with some ok vocab and good flow, work on your punchlines, they need to be witty and not just stating things. pz

v/ taz