CriTiC vs .Lola Cruez. II
Battle Rules:
20-30Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Votes Explained Vote On all Topical Aspects Topic- Quoting The Silence. G-Luck Minimum posts to vote: 400 Check in by: 08-19-05 at 08:33 PM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. |
CriTiC has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-19-05 08:06 PM.
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.Lola Cruez. II has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-19-05 08:15 PM.
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Quoting The Silence Dust everywhere cobwebs silk, the smell of stale milk lingers The desolate kitchen hinders me I never clean with my fingers The house is detached from reality, its my derelict dwellings The story telling about this place leaves my eyes red swelling 4 years to the day my wife and son died within my four walls Butchered by my own distractive tools, pain within still calls I’m guilty for neglect, the mauling by this fiend was unjust So I close my eyes & picture them never will I again entrust Malice engulfs the clouded thoughts manifesting in my head Society has expelled me so I have to be careful where I tread In bed I lay, dreading my meaningless existence you call life Only this blunt knife can cut away the pain sorrowed & strife I slit the stems of my pain my brain can’t contain that it’s insane How could I carry out this action all attempts to stop are in vain I felt my life leaking out of me, I soon could barely lift my arms I gaze into my mirror drop the knife that’s clinched in my prams I start to have flash backs, the events soon become more clear My wife was cheating on me, this was something I always fear I remember being sent home early and this cars parked out front I continue to walk up the drive, close the door with a slight shunt Moans I’m hearing form the bedroom groans start killing my ears Tears protrude from my eyelids thoughts of the goings on I cant bare I enter the bedroom in rage and start emptying my clip in despair Moments latter I’m hearing sirens I try to flea this killing affair I walk into the hall way, movement behind the door, I shoot without looking Now my sons dead on the floor, I turn the gun on myself my brains cooking I felt my soul leaving my body, the police have broken down the front door A coldness has come upon me, I start quoting the silence the police man conjure I have been trapped in this house ever since, I keep going thought this every year On this day I come back and remember this evil deed now I’m lost in silent sphere |
pounding on the keys, ears listening to that sweet melody
as i exhale smoke comes out of my mouth sweating heavily i feel like i'm trapped in a dangerous storm smoke cluttering sweats hitting my eye, it stings. my heart stays screaming The devils dancing around me, waiting to turn me into dust devils laughing. Black smoke gets clouded, now I'm blindest ashes to ashes I go, my scream of pain lingers in the origin easily it went through me like acid, as my soul went burgeon Stayed the last minute of my life here pounding and listening Life disappears into thin air but the fire in my soul never .................................................. ....................stops playing Feeling so Tired, coming from a far far away place from here beats I create, with no lyrics,. The word "Musician" is I inhere Sweats pour down from my neck to my aching back. So tired woods everywhere. "work" is the key here, my arms are on fire "building" with what gods "woods" to create something magical sitting now looking up at this one light soul with a fan as it dangles Finally finish, time to celebrate with a little heaven song in my ear being sheltered puts a smile on my face. it keeps from devils getting near Gently I put my fingers on these "used" keys. starts to play very slow how does it feel to bring back the dead back by pressing a single note? The floor get's hotter, hands got a mind of its own. It won't stop playing I tried to pull myself away from it but it won't help. Damn I'm sweating Fire alarm erupts the silence in the house, I turn into an utter shock ....Lungs and heart going out of control in me. I feel I’m about to pop Bang my head on the piano trying to make it stop but it's not helping Blood leak from my skull, "Let me go...Stop" The fire emerge quickly Ashes To ashes...Dust to Dust, as my scream lingers in the origin Easily the fire went through me like acid, as my soul went burgeon Fire kills everything in it's path except one thing with my soul attach Key's remain un-harmed. The beat notes stays untouched as for me .................................................. .....................................Burned my life to black I HOPE YA'LL GET THE CONCEPT PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
yo can the girl get some feedback or votes...like whoa :cool:
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This was feedback posted for .Lola Cruez. II
this was a good battle tweety i liked da concept of ya verse in i liked the concept of critic verse this gonna be a good battle cant wait to see the outcome good battle yall
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Sup RV uping for votes Lola I will peep your verse later,...
Stay up 1~ |
Dam girl your verse was heavy!!!! this is gonna be well close..
Stay up 1~ |
I dont think no-one got the concept though.........:(
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uppin............................................. ..
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1,000 post ha ha up-ing for votes !!!
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Uppin............................................. .......
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Bump.............................................. ..
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Dam getting votes on this sites like nigga's giving blood wtf !!!
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