RapVerse.com Community - My Pilgrimage to the Pavilion, almost fighting evil-doers ensues

I swear that all things said below are true, all events did take place accordingly(though the whole evil thing may be slightly exaggerated. This is long, but it is my tale through the land of my enemy.

My Pilgrimage Through the Pavilion

My sights steadily set on the fabled headquarters of the bad-doers...(heh, doo-ers...) I solemnly approach the fortress that is the local Pavilion. It's a place of evil deeds, such as ice skating and communicating with other 'mortals'.

My first adventure was the journey to the tennis courts with my friend, who watched as I tore through the dark game they were playing, snatched a ball from the ground and in true football form, leapt over the net, and tore to the other side. But what was this? No back exit from this despicable and neigh-impenetrable doomhouse? Or maybe there was, but I was too frantic to notice. Now that I think of it, there probably was. Mustering up my courage, feeling the red burning eyes of the gamers, I ran with a silent battlecry in mind, and screamed in defiance,"You shall never catch me!"

Perhaps it would've been smarter to go to the side of this net, but I am a dumbass. A holy dumbass. As you may predict, as I leapt with my shrill battlecry to the (evil) communist teenager, and what is this witchcraft and trickery? My leg caught on the net, perhaps because I was too busy making an ass out of myself. But I managed to scramble to my feet with a rather pronounced 'shit' and charged out of there, wary of the people watching.

Unfortunately, this would not be the last I saw of this evil pimple-faced communist from the ebony lands of the evil dark lord whatever-the-fuck-the-emperor-is-now.

But that is a story told later. I crossed to the main section of the building, my friend still being a pussy and laughing his ass off from my narrow(and not so hilarious) escape from a brutal beating with a tennis racquet. Indeed, I was lucky. This main section houses the candy store/slushie thingie, and the game area. The game area is a wide(and evil) expanse of territory conquered by the unknown creators of this ancient fifteen or so year old place.

There, I met one of the highlights of my pilgrimage --- nay, two. They were playing a game so evil, so despicable, it is only mentioned in the dark corners of the galaxy. Yes, cover the children's eyes to not defile their innocence --- hackey sack. I could classify them as people who had taken a massive withdrawal from the (evil) first bank of fag, because they were wearing khaki shorts, a gay grin, and stupid shoes and t-shirts depicting gay bands.

Trying to keep my cover as another person, blending it with my sleeveless shirt, khaki shorts, and skateboarding shoes, I talked to them about the ESPN sport 'hackey sack tournament'. As I was insulted by them with such derogatory terms such as 'fag'(in this case, they seemed to think the striped GAP shoes seemed to be on the other foot). I consulted them about them, with their wittiness, ready to face any bully at the upcoming (evil) school.

As I finally decided, they did not want me, so I snuck away. By snuck, I meant I started dancing, turning the butter and spinning, then ended it with a Michael Jacksonesque 'SHAMONA!' and grabbed my crotch. I finished them, but they wanted more. I heard their giggles(and perhaps others in the lobby laughed at me, but my quick-mind worked at superspeed and I did not notice them), so I danced some more. They would shake their heads.

It was about this time I realized my pussy friend had once more abandoned me when the going went rough. I expected him to be valiantly fighting off orc hordes with a mighty battleaxe, but found him riding around on his stupid ass bike about five feet too big for him. He told me that the people at the tennis courts didn't care, it was only one ball and they had twenty. So I decided to make a further ass of myself. We decided to approach the tennis courts again, and this is where I found the communist, but I found his friends:

Peaceful but evil white pimply skinny Buddha, the blonde-haired person who found my attempt to destroy these fiends with my idiocy funny, and another person I didn't pay attention to because he was in the opposite corner.

Indeed, they engaged in a most unholy 2 vrs. 2 game. As to be expected, one person was slowly approaching one of the many tennis balls. Assured this was the one trinket he was after, I snatched it up and tore off, deciding against another fence hop for obvious reasons. But it seemed the dark-skinned Karl Marx was one step ahead me and managed to catch me. I dropped the evil trinket and decided to come back another day. And I was in the worst bear hug, because he smelled of shit and pure evil.

I returned to the main lobby with my head hung in shame, most but the chinese child laughing at me, and turned and danced at them. On cue, the chinese teenager ran at me.

Maybe this was a bit distorted, I may not have danced, I know I did something to piss them off. With a girlish scream, me and my friend took off. To my dismay, he caught my friend and took our other valuable stolen ball. I started dancing at the chinese teenager after catching his attention, and when he saw me I tore off running to the Pavilion once more. I would live to fight another day.

Still in high hopes, but they were slightly dampened by our loss in that battle, I went into ninja mode. Perhaps most brave of us all, get this, my pussy friend(who I will now call Mr. Anderson) PUT HIS BIKE SLIGHTLY INSIDE. Knowing that if it didn't contain flamethrowers and rocket launchers, this bike would be no use, so I demonstrated my ninja skills to deter them from trying to capture me by crouching and leaping onto a bench, then looking at the people behind the counter. And as I demonstrated my awesome, Mr. Anderson looked on.

With a brief argument about the walking of ninjas, I departed, and thinking of Kool Col-B at this moment I crip-walked out of there, though it probably seemed like I was trying desperately to tilt my body so my pants didn't fall down. And this was the end of my story, and how I managed to survive.

I almost got in two fights that day, with the communist and the fag hackey sackers...but I escaped without a scratch, momentously.

^

Damn that was long, but the story is all true.