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"Twisted Universe"
Listen...I don't know what I do that is so senseless... My pain is so endless and I'm at the limit of defenses... I've crossed too many fences broke too many barriers... These voices are everywhere I'm the one who carries her... I light up a cigarette inhale the fumes which bring me doom... It's too soon this room just casts this shadowy gloom... My words may not make sense it shows you I'm mixed... My friends leave me ditched so this sorrow is so transfixed... I'll just straight ram this bitch cause I just gawd damn this shit... My universe is so twisted, I make mother fucking planets shift... I just try to be the dopest but my focus is scattered locusts... Maybe it's just hopeless, my cash couldn't get a shattered Rolex.. You see I'm sayin' so many things at once my brain is jammin' in... Crammin' in all these beers so this pain will just quit happenin'... I am just so twisted, I dunno am I weak or am I just gifted..? This pride and hope unlifted because life is just so unscripted... You never expect nothin till it comes and slaps your mental wealth... Cause life will hit you so hard, it will just fuck up your dental health... |
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206390
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=205694 Links...haven't dropped an OM in a long time...I was bored so I decided to gitter done haha... |
what up fam...kinda late decided to check out your shit....kinda makes me think of somin Eminem would write...it's pretty tight I like the concept n shit i am workin on an open mic drop thats kinda similar so i know where your comin from n shit just wanna give ya props
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this is a cool lil piece i know you key'd it but its good, nice multiples man, you need to use camas to show your emotion haha, flow is good stucture is good imager is very good, nice vocabulary and you used a good choice of words, just a nice lik piece man, i'd like to see you do more open mics then just do one like this, i remember them days when you us to drop lots, anyway nice shit man
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Upp..................
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good piece here u came wit it i like ur drops cuz it got diz Em type vibe 2 it but neway u got great structure, drop was solid, creativity & originality all there hittin da right spots keep writing look forward 2 more pieces from u ight
rtf: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206267 |
LE once more amazes me....
Awesome piece... couldn't say anything you've never heard about your skill so I'll leave you with this: :thumbup: |
good for a key nic vocab good use of emotion nice shit
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Tite Piece Fams,
Especially For The Length Of It. Your Really Didnt Leave Yourself To Much Room To Explain, But You Managed To Pack Alot In There. Kept A Nice Steady Flow Throughout, Nice Emotion ... I Got Kind Of A Mono Tone Vibe From This. Depressed Sort Of Tone, Suicide Note Type Of Material ... Not Sure If Thats Where It Was Supposed To Go But Thats How I Read It, And It Sounded Pretty Dope That Way. Imagery, Eh Nothing Really For That. This Was More Of An Emo, "My Feelings Are..." Type Of Pieces ... Not Really Any Room For Imagery So Its Not A Big Deal. The Emotion Made Up For That. Strong Piece Overall Mayn, I'd Give It Like An 8.2/10 ... Maybe Slap A Hook And Another Verse On That. *Shrugs* Good Job Though, .One. |
Whoa mad slept on...
Uppin'... |
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