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Faint Reflection.
Faint Reflection. A bird in the distance awakes me through its ruffle in the trees I turn my face to a degree, now looking at the mirror: I can see My glaring eyes, that frowning mouth in such a horrid reflection Look away for my own protection, begin a morning resurrection Blind anger directed at my parents for this retched appearance Crave to stay away: want to run, vanish with pure perseverance Rapidly running with my heart's content, down wide open street Till I learn how to compete and set upon a safe place of retreat As the tale gets deeper…… I'm subtly walking through this meadow of scented flowers Delicate grass untouched by man taking away my powers Dreamy gaze at the sky’s wool balls...a glimmer of motion Intent of seeing but I see nothing, no more vivid commotion A blur figure of what I guess to be a lake in the perspective Cautiously tip-toeing close but remaining so self-protective Pure and blue calm water gently splashed against the bay As I stood there for few minutes in a state of total disarray But as the story gets darker…… Staring at the water's edge as this shadow appeared These things I longed to witness, I now greatly feared But as I stood watching my hand reaches into touch Clutch of my wrist....this feeling of sadness but such A pain had driven inside of my mind, so damn unruly Shadow of that Devil had suddenly touched me, truly Walked underneath Death’s big umbrella, not as dim Touched by Sir Grim, unaware how?! But love nor sin My family left behind, no chance to stay alive, no comeback or resurrection All I ever wanted was perfection, but I look at the water at my fading reflection. i will leave the links in a minute |
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this was some cold shit man WERD nice flow to it and vocab was ill man!!!!!
nice drop man keep em comin man WERD!!!! |
thanx dawg bump bump
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like he said really deep emotional peice here, you are definitely ruling the OM forums witth these type of peices, im really feelin this one, keep it up
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thanx loads
uppin! |
deep shit..nice flow,nice structure........
alot of motions..and nice vocab........ not any bad things...........almoust perfect... i liked that 1st piece was best 1 |
Nice piece right here...
Good concept, I wonder who gave you that topic? :thumbup: Didn't expect you would've worked it out this nicely though. I'm proud of you! The emotion was definitely there, you expressed the thoughts running through the person's mind very clearly yet the poetic vibe remained in a way. The imagery was excellent as well, you used vivid pictures to add to the overall depth of the piece. The vocabulary was on point as well, there was the right amount of complexity though it remained understandable. Story developed nicely towards the good twist at the ending. Keep it up! :thumbup: |
This will get nominatted cause its a preety emotional piece,with alot of creativity and thought out lyrics.the structure was perfect and the Vocab was on Point.It was a strange Concept but you made it work.
Good Job MK keep this type Of OM's coming Props Fams |
u really improving yo erm deep topic you made it sound easy good use of vocab great emotion you know ur dusty mic sittin in the corner you should get it out for this this will be hot on audio
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Damn, this right here will get nominated...simply because it is awesome.The vocab in your om was extrememly enhanced that went a long with your flow..Great structure which also helped the flow....ur multis were iffy but who cares about those u took it over with your astonishing imagery and ur breath taking emotion....overall id say that you have got a 9.9/10 keep em coming and holla at me for a collab.....peace 1
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wow fuck me thanx for the great feed back
uppin!!!! |
this was a good drop mad one ur best u have improved in om.....i have to say....this had good vocb an structure an flowed well u have a good imagination keep up the good werk an keep writin.....8.5/10.....1 famz
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This shit was maaaddd deep...
Concept was nice and original...Imagery was AMAZING man. Real props on that. At first I was skeptical about that small text and shit, but this was really worth the read. Dreamy gaze at the sky’s wool balls...a glimmer of motion Intent of seeing but I see nothing, no more vivid commotion ^^ I loved that line Staring at the water's edge as this shadow appeared These things I longed to witness, I now greatly feared ^^ That one too. Overall, I think this could be HOF material man. Really nice work. |
Thanx for this........alot of peeps nominating this for the HOF which im very greatful about:D
uppin.... |
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