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.Lola Cruez. II vs. Mad Knight
You can find the rules if you follow this link: !Rules! Read em...
Check in by Wednesday Pieces due by Friday Voting closes by Sunday Topic: Corrupted Minds * If you think that one of the pieces in this battle should go into the Pieces of Inspiration thread then please state which piece in your vote. * |
ch-ch-checkin
g'luck Lola |
Spff......Check......
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Corrupted Minds The constant thump in my temple awakes me to fifth sense A rise to a long and white room with the burning of incense Suddenly look at my legs...dressed in a white, pressed robe Try moving but it's like I'm strapped to a table with fresh rope I guess what is a few hours later....... blurred my own vision The pure precision of what I know was a tranquilizer incision Now in a 4 wall room for what I record was 3 days when I break Haven’t even eaten, I just sit and wait as my brain degenerates As the side of the sealed metal door opens with a ray of light Grim voice speaks telling me to go to hall, I guess as an invite Rows of brain-dead people awaiting the message from captain I await my fate but eagerly look for ways of escape, trapped in He talks with a soft voice, with ideas that linger in one's mind Ideas intertwined with my mine, thoughts now gone or refined The letters along the membranes pumping blood into the brain Reversed and flipped into messages for our own mouths to say Last thought prevails,I see his face go blank, under his own spell Upon his own idea’s he dwelled, stand and watch his soul rebel Now an uncontrollable force which not the one himself can handle Falls to the floor, no wicker in his eyes, blown out like a candle |
Extension granted till Sunday
- However in the future extensions will only be granted till Saturday as Sunday is the last day for votes. And I have put it in the rules, so if you think that you won't be able to get on your computer near the end of the week then drop early. - King Solo |
Till Sunday:shocked: is it not meant to be to Saturday????
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he just can't hide it like a see through dress. Tears running down feeling so shut-down. The happiness that’s left in him displays a frown how can he go on knowing that his only inspiration is completely gone darkness looms over the sun. sadness pours from the far above dawn can you picture the death of your pen being hold inside the coffin. Dead your road of life is being block-ahead. Remembering the poem she read. Felt like Christmas-she gave you a present-you took it appreciated w/lust your heat fell down like the month of august. on that day was your brightest then the rose of your love life blacken on the next day. now here you stand standing in front of her with tears pouring like sweat-gland from your eyes man 4 years after the death of your personal love rose that’s gone to heaven. people expect a book with more chapters of seven. but your .................................................. ...............locked in your own personal dungeon sweats wetting the bed sheets, your having nightmares but your not sleep There a puncture wound inside you deep. Every night you just want to scream hands shaken every-time you pick up the pen. This emotion is reaching its peak "Why can i write!" within your torture soul there’s a beast eating your life-away *Laughing manically* "hahahaha" that’s it! you reach for the object called a blade "I can't breathe...nor write because my inspiration is gone" will it be his last-day? blood leaks from his foolish mouth. "I’m a fool, just a fool with a face of an clown" night with those shining eyes goes down and sun arise.Ahh your hear that sound? Of course you can't hear it. With his glasses on and his lovely rose standing by him *Tap, Tap* heart beating fast face displays a grim. Life gone and finally he types the end |
Wow,
.Lola Cruez. ll-Your verse was quite enjoyable...YOUR emotion was pinpoint, made your piece much more enjoyable to read...obviously much more written than MK for me, ur structure was honestly a problem in some points....i wasnt able to keep the flow going through out ur whole verse.....Nothing the less..ur imagery was good....creativity was outgoing and well thougt up....although i feel ur vocab was rather basic...which helped create the imagery...... MadKnight- Wow, this was a nice piece, Not as long as Lola's but deff. mad an impact. I feel your structure was pinpoint in every aspect. Great flow was created in my head. You fufilled your verse with a nice Enhanced vocab that helped create the flow.And create a good fufilling emotion to ur piece. Also ur imagery was well put together...liked how it came about....Creativity was there deff. good way to go abou tthe topic. v/MadKnight simply for his immaculate verse |
meh, at only one vote on this muthafucka to. :cussing:
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Mad Knight Wins 1-0.
This Battle Is Now Closed. |
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