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Topic: Last Resort

Then

Visions of you playing in the sand, running and butterfly catching
Now and again you‘d turn to wave, our smiles eventually matching
Building castles, while me and your dad were trying to build bridges
I was bringing the heat, he was the one keeping his cool like fridges
Everything was going great, but we had occasional ups and downs
Still we got through them because you were always the family clown
Photos capturing memories, that’s all I have to make me remember
Moments that disappeared when we faced our worst December……

Christmas

The angel looks over your bed, guarding you when I’m not present
A torment, can’t be there 24-7, so she’s someone I sometimes resent
We decorated the tree for you but the doctors say your sights failing
Like a broken boat, you need fixing so for now we have to stop sailing
Hooked up to tubes is the only chance you have of seeing tomorrow
Words unable to explain my sorrow, its like we have you to borrow
Showered with gifts, but the one you need the most, I just can’t give
Unable to fill the holes, your slipping through my fingers like a sieve

Daddy’s time

One night he returned from the hospital, head dripping with sweat
Thought he was pretending, but this was the affects of a cigarette
I still wondered though, was this man just trying to get my attention
Until told it was a heart attack, something he didn’t know, to mention
All those years of not needing him, why now did he choose to leave
It makes me heave, so wrapped up with you, I was unable to grieve

The last resort

You’d always wanted to spend your last moments, back on the beach
Something you stated all the time, before the monster took your speech
We put your body in the wheelchair, no longer able to walk, so fragile
A far cry from what you once were, like a gymnast so sleek and agile
The nurses left us alone for a minute, you clutched your pink cover
Wherever we would go, no escaping, above us death would hover
I lifted your blue satin pillow, gently pressed it across your mouth
You didn’t even shout, I think you realised from this, there’s no out
You were fighting many battles but they would eventually lead to wars
This act was my last resort and evidently this whole place was yours

Dear darling,

I write you this letter to merely speak the blunt truth
Of why I wasted my youth on that one forbidden fruit
I pity though not blame you if you fail to grasp this
For you've stared helplessly in my eyes of sadness
As I tried to hide and disguise what's lying beneath
You never knew in his arms I found a place of retreat
Too blind to see you and I were just playing our roles
But with him … it was a magic connection of souls
I will never regret getting too deep into this abyss
As soon as I tasted bliss, I knew what I had missed
During all those years, I lived with terrifying fears
Of you packing your bags and leaving me in tears
But who would have thought I’d be the one going?
Insults kept flowing; your true nature was showing
Pushing me against wall, pulling down my jeans
Like amateur porno scenes or some horny teens


You fucking bitch, you got nerve cheating on me
Well, I hope that you choke in your own debris

Do not even touch me ever again or I’ll sue you
I’ll fuck you up, make you turn black and blue
Guess you won’t be a blood anymore then baby
I’m done and will never return: there’s no maybe

But eventually I got caught up in these dire straits
So I arrived at my last resort: these heaven gates