X-tortion vs. Apostrophe
 

* If you think that one of the pieces in this battle should go into the Pieces of Inspiration thread then please state which piece in your vote. *

checkshnizzle..

checkin in as well...

This fuckers gonna make me drop a verse..

On the basis that bills double..poppin up like dice..I feel troubled
I can't take it..cause no matter how hard I try..it's still struggle
My spouse constantly naggin..sarcastic with?..honestly, braggin
So more than likely..I might be at strippin bars cautiously active
Burdens of guiltiness hurt me serious..as I read 3 chapters..It sits
What I'm a do?..Only fifty dollars for two weeks..after the kids
Startin to favor hustle as escape..embarking these good flavors
Be the hood's savior..habitat holding tons..close to packs that's open
Reality bites like winona swipes..as my blood overlaps emotions
Dreamin in my bedroom..awakened by sharp, distinct noises
Loud behavior foul by nature..seems like my enemy's voices
Guess they can bank me..withdraw greed..induce locked deposits?
Quieter than panthers at dark..I go to my shoebox in closet
Tiptoe to the door..just in case this revolver's gotta enforce
One!...Two!...see me chained by D.E.A..knocked on the floor
Memorandum rights in my ear..I'm congested as fuck in this car
From foggy smoke..cops blazing dutches..with the guts in cigar
Deep in thought..I'm sorry to Pretty Lady..& plus the small kids
I released & bought trees..for extra cash..so we all can live
Time's not a factor between us..trust my stomach be so squemish
Steve squeakin like houserats..announce how I'm seen weekends
Buying various dope..angered cause I know the judge'll try to throw
The book thru my wisdom..fucked up system..divides my hopes
I didn't listen to you baby..Yeah, maybe these were selfish calls
But learn from my experience..keep ya soul clensed..from helpless falls

......Cause I didn't......

this was a pretty close battle.........xtortion your verse, although longer than apostrophes, lacked depth.....there was no imagery there but you did have nice vocab....however most lines could have been worded better
apostrophe your verse was nice, imagery was there, i enjoyed reading it, you could have upped your vocab a little......coz it was a little too simple, but i felt you pulled it off because of the imagery......

overall both verses were lacking depth, a little too simple.....however apostrophe gets my vote because his had imagery and a good storyline.....

vote- Apostrophe

yea i was feelin both verses in places, but they both lacked something, mainly the depth like fyre pointed out. both had a nice flow to them and stayed consistent to the topic, although x-tortion is another person i have seen who uses the text style when he's doing his verse, the vocabs in both were minimal and you cud look to improve on that, overall i like apostrophe's better cuz he told a good story and he had the imagery going on for him..........

V/ - Apostrophe

Both verses was iight, i felt that both had good emotion....but what it seemed to me that x-tortion lacked depth and imagery....apotrophe added great imagery and good depth.....x-tortion had good vocab....as well aas apostrophe x-tortion had good structure good flow, but apostrophe just simply had the better drop.both creative just apostrophes stood out more

v/apostrophe

Apostrophe: I'm feeling the storyline you used in this piece, it was creative enough yet remained understandable. However I think you could've worked it out a bit more, get more into the dream and such. The imagery was there...might have been a little more indepth in some places, emotion was decent but should've been better in my opinion.


X-tortion : first topical I've seen from you and I must say it was quite good. You could change a few wordings you used but overall it was solid. Had strong emotion actually, told a good story, decent creativity, good vocab, flow was aight. Might use some more poetic, metaphoricial wordings here and there but there were already insightful parts included.

Vote: X-tortion because I like his style in fact, it's a pleasant change and he went more indepth than Apostrophe