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-   -   Pains Creativity -Leave Links (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=209208)

Paranoid 09-20-05 10:45 PM

Pains Creativity -Leave Links
 
www.soundclick.com/Paranoid05

alright just recorded this, took a few hours to put together.

and leave links people.

Paranoid 09-20-05 10:45 PM

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2448370
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2448376

leady 09-21-05 04:01 AM

beats cool, smooth n shit... flow is way too robotic, extremely stoppy starty n u draggin sum words out fit lines in... delivery dont exist, cos ur emotion doesnt exist... lyrics are ok... its real borin to listen to, ur lackin confidence, u need to keep practicing build ur confidence n build up ur presence and charisma... peace

Given Light. 09-21-05 11:21 AM

Choppy. Word your flow is crazy choppy. Try to work on your flow, because that was instantly the thing that stood out the most.
Beats ok, slow and what not, something I would listen to if I wanted to like, rest or something.
Prescence, in all honesty it sounds your just as bored as I am. It's all like "meh", your just falling asleep, and you rush in some parts, and slow down in some parts.
I did peep the lyrics and they wern't that bad at all, definetly the best part of your whole song.

No worries though, keep elevating.

Paranoid 09-21-05 09:07 PM

thanks yall, yea i agree wit all the feed yall given me, but elevatin is real hard ay

Adam 09-22-05 09:38 AM

The beat reminds me of a song by Common. So the beat is dope and shit, but you sound like you're half asleep and just reading off a piece of paper. The lyrics are pretty good. For your hook, you should of had two different voices.

Voice 1: Is it really pain?

Voice 2: Of course it is man.

Word, all in all, not a bad track. I'd say re-record it and touch up how you sound when you're spitting. It just sounds really choppy.

Keep dropping them..

Paranoid 09-23-05 10:04 AM

thanks man

uppin

Debit 09-23-05 09:11 PM

ya flow sounds to robotic...u sound hella bored like u were just thinking "damn why am i recording this" or some shit like that...ya flow is also choppy at times too so touch that up...u don't sound comfortable on the mic...u gotta have some confidence when u spit...u also rushed at certain spots...this is an aight track...wouldn't listen to this unless u re-recorded it after u elevate...try to elevate more and keep droppin fam...rtf on "We Gangsta"


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