The Herd, The Scene.
 

Incoherant, illiterate to the point of a blur
The translations lost in the sound of the heard
He doesn't even know if these are even his words
Yet, he concurs.

Placing his trust in the palms of a ghost
It falls right through, not 'cause of the host
But emotions are as vague as the one who revokes
He waits, he hopes.

A written response is his painful denial
The author exaggerates the opinion he entitled
Stealing the words from the heard was too vital
He types, re: tired.

The author's exausted, insomnia solemly breaking him
His journal was shaking him, pages ripped and began hating him
Whimsically faking them, he spoke and the ghost was changing him
It tears him, it fades him.

The lines were read to few and far between
Skimming through the seems of everything it seemed
That something was nothing unless it was seen
The heard, the scene, the record company.

Blurred Vision
Weathered The Storm

That was pretty decent man. A few things I think you could have elevated on would have been a little more vocab, flow wasnt to bad. However I think you could have really done alot better had you added more multies. I liked your structure and your style leaned a little more towards poetry. All in all nice drop man. Keep it up!

thanks uppin.l.....................

.......................

this was more like poetry all in all it was a good piece good imagery ~1ne~

fuckin feedback is in the dumps..,...

Like my ex-wife...hahaha..no.

Anyway, the concept was okay, as were the structure and flow. Your vocabulary could use work as well. Yes, this was poetry, but you probably posted here because about any rap site you go to OM gets more feed on it then Poetry. The whole thing was mediocre. Keep elevating. 7/10


RTF on Dead Beat Holiday(which is really entitled Pharaoh's Sarcophagus, I just made a mistake.)