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Atticus vs sick.I.am
Unlimited Lines
No Crew/Hate/Dick/Ect. Votes, ... And No Recycling. Topic: 'Tears Of A Mother' Minimum posts to vote: 500 Check in by: 09-25-05 at 03:13 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Atticus has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-22-05 03:14 PM.
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Atticus has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-22-05 03:15 PM.
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Sick.I.Am has ACCEPTED this battle on 09-22-05 04:08 PM.
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A toxin tiptoes the hallow walkway of this plecenta,
feeding it's disease to all that is natural and pure. A mother not infecting yet being infected. This backward cloud of smog choking her love, before falls a seed of curiosity... .......................bare and nude this infant of sin lives on. Stary Eyed inocence lifts its gental covers. Only to be ripped of its descise as vulnerability meets it's bane, and tries with all his might to grip that which is good. But then humanity becons, blown a soft kiss from a whore. The Devils Dance gaining pace around this young ones soul. As a Square Dance to a Waltz, Waltz to a Run, Before these circles singe the earth and a mother screams. Begining to tear as her once child sits the star of this One Ringed Circus. Newly set free of its womb, legs still trembling, a Mothers child takes its first steps into the depths of Pandora's Box. ... 25 Years Later. Mother... He is your Boy nevermore. He is a Man, who knows not of his lineage but only the idustry. A Bastard in his own mind, fathered by Lonely. And... A Mother Weaps for her Failure. With every Drop forms another Skyscraper to imortalize her Pains. Now a lost soul strives for progression, Raping the Land. Attacking his own Mother, Ripping away each Strand of Hair. He knows not of his victim's Relation, rather only progression. He Coats her Beauty with a Concrete Kiss and says Goodbye, as the Rats are set free to roam Ravage his Creation, and Foam binds itself about his lips from his labors... As he Spits... and forever Exiles his Mother under a Layer of Black Tar. ... 30 Years Later. Booming industry has turned for the worst, as the Once Inocence Fathers a Ghetto. Sit's in a Picture Window with Eyes Wide Shut as the Rats become their own worst Nightmares. The Boy's concrete cage now Flaws on every turn, Only to be Plastered with a Layer of Black Tar Haroin. A Tear free's itself from a Shell and Screams on its way down. The Boy kneels and finds himself this puddle, something Formilliar yet so very Unidentifiable. Look up once again to see the Rats laying in the Streets. That who has been Birth of a Land has Destroyed a People. As the Skies Open up and Pour, a Mother does her best to wash our Sins away. |
her consience is dead, dead as the love she once had
two hearts entwined but in truth it was a lie her vital organ ripped in two as the words came upon her ears 'its over' followed by tears and a trembling in her knees she fell to the ground at once face white as the clouds above as he turned his back, she too turned her back on the world no longer a word... language was a forgotten past emotions whiped from her eyes now a black stare return the look of hatred in her sight a path to madness she walks her mind runs fast not even a moments time to think thoughts of the unspeakable a sin to end all sins with a stroke of her instrument... she writes 'dear mother....' not a word in her mind can describe what she need say a stroke of ink once more... still not but two words... she realized the only way... not words but with action she shall explain her torment with an expression of pain her hearts blood runs cold, a blade gently presented to flesh a single motion.... a tear runs down a face once dry as the veins of kin a black veil to conceal the pain wich resides in all who attend this love will not end... continuing through death and departure stone engraved with a name, never to be forgotten a daughters pain now passed on to her mother now left with no one to cherish... a birth made void all she has now is her tears and a note... 'dear mother' |
This was feedback posted for Sick.I.Am
pollz.........cuz i can............................
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good luck atty :) ................ *shakes hand*
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This was feedback posted for Atticus
ok good battle to both of you
atticus good vocab and imagery aick good job too but i thought attys was more interesting personally btu not bad by any means props |
uppin... this needs some votes... so please vote :) lol
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FUCKING VOTE ASS DONKEYS!! lol jp i love you all :)
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This was feedback posted for Sick.I.Am
polzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z
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This was feedback posted for Sick.I.Am
Dope both.
Good luck ye........................... |
uppin for votes, this is a crew battle.....................
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Voted For: Atticus
damn, hot battle here...a pretty decent read. Atticus wass good famz? this was really nice, loved your vocab not over done... flow was off a bit though.. but ur imagery was there like whoa i got great imagery from this proops this line was good imagery jus work on your flow kid "and Foam binds itself about his lips from his labors... As he Spits... and forever Exiles his Mother under a Layer of Black Tar." sick man your shit was nice too but imagery dont stack up at all compared to atty your flow was about the same also overall coo battle atty jus kills the imagery here, which in my book is the most important aspect in a topical. both work on flow, and yall str8 v/ atticus |
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