|
'New Moon Rising'
'New Moon Rising'
new moons manipulation manifesting in my mind like a song that constantly continues to rewind replaying endlessly ive seen it countless times as the moon reaches full size again... she dies this forever is my fate... a fear i can not escape she waits for me by the moon... at the holy gates i look to the stars the same stars we used to share one glance to my side, i realize that your not there at this moment again... tears rain from my eyes tears fall upon my face... when will the sun rise a glimpse of light... warmth on my face, a smile a days releif to contemplate my grief... denial darkness fills my eyes as i repeat my mistakes the record still plays of our song... as i sit by the lake staring silently... at my surroundings of stars each rip in the sky represents the nights scars each heartbreak... each love lossed in life a fairytale wedding... she dreamed to be my wife white roses under a black sky... as we wed a vail to cover the tears shed cry as she said two words... 'i do'... emotions flood her head this ring... the key to my heart id place on her hand i look to the sky as i a new moon is born over the land and then.... darkness as the clock turns back this once white world... white wedding. fades to black the blue sky turns to yellow... then red... then maroon as i sit by lake... waiting for the next new moon id sit by that lake of fire... burning pain in my heart and wait for the darkness... for the cycle to re-start http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2468387 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2468392 |
yeah this is nice but it will be better if you threw some humor up in this for real liven things up check this right here dawg
My dew rag ripped but it’s like a flagship it float like a boat On my head tears wet my political state is critical fate hope I can bounce back but now not complex and wise need exercise No sex realize you gone crying and denying now vex with lies Girl comeback home I’m plumb whack in the dome need a kiss Come feed this love passion in thug fashion we both reminisce |
^ oh is that how it should be done...................................... :wtf:
|
Quote:
ROFL I was honestly thinking the same thing. :wtf: But OMG I loved this. This is both a dope poem and would make a dope song too. If you're rap style is like this I'd buy your cd. It was mad deep and the whole metaphore with the moon was great. I Likes it. But LMAO @ that dude again. but good job I barely feed on poems. |
haha thanks man, appreciate the love
|
*Shakes Head*
My Fucking God Shat Was A Moron. Lol, I'm Gonna Leave Some Nice Feedback On This Soon Man. |
wow...deep! lol obviously very good imagery and emotion, I liked how u used colour to represent feelings towards the end.
and these were my favourite lines. two words... 'i do'... emotions flood her head this ring... the key to my heart id place on her hand i look to the sky as i a new moon is born over the land dunno why, maybe im just a big romantic :love: lol but seriously i liked how the ring represented the key to ur heart, overall a really dope piece! nice drop! |
thanks man.. glad yall like it - feed appreciated
|
could u RTF plz? link in sig, gettin mad slept on
|
ya sure, no problem man
|
A Little long I Would Say ........... Nice Piece On The Mark On Its Quit Interesting I Shall Say
Nice Piece Please RTF in One of the Links in my sig :) Thanx |
give decent feed and i will :)
|
^you hadda post it this month.......:shocked: too bad ur wont get o/m of the month due to bizzzos drop...
any way i believe that u had quite good imagery.....and emotion...felt the story was hott...dude this is dope...seriously dope :cool: i think u just lost to atticus and u deserve more credit than u get.....ya now ur 6-4 and im basicially wasting time doing this..cuz i hate giving feed...oh well i guess later 8/10 fa real....1 |
i know right?! lol thanks for the feed man
|
i agree a little long.......... but a good piece .......GK
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:33 AM. |