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Stuck In Shallow Water - L.I. and Laureate
L.I.
As a juvenile my outlook was prude yet vile.. ..to prove a trial that always caused feuds of style I pursued the miles in hard fought troubles of strife ..and double the hype even made it a struggle at night now I shudder at site of any white script in the mail ..just skip it and bail or try to push chips and prevail it’s this or I fail and cause more stress this time ..depressed on wine, my judgments are suppressed by signs caress this nine and ponder on thoughts of death ..distraught from tests, my willpower sought for rest insults and threats could drive my mind insane .. a blinding race, impossible to find my range the ride was paved, now only a path to choose .. the fastest route, to become a more status dude and pass the news, break free of the anchor I carry .. anger is buried, progressing social ranks while I married thankful and caring I moved on after starting from war .. caught in the storm, my evolution brought me to shore Laureate I stood knee deep in problems I created for myself Like bad health I was sick of the shit I’d been dealt Trouble has come and gone, but the presence still lingers Too many to count, the world doesn’t have enough fingers Stabbed in the back often, but never a truly deadly blow Felt the downwards pull, wounds bleed beyond my control, Clogged with doubt and self pity, I never fully recovered Blind to the right route, life was gritty, hope was smothered Every time I got a boost, my support buckled and broke Even with nothing to lose, hope was muffled and choked Things never looked up, and my luck never changed Started a new game, reversing from fortune and fame So used to it now, bad days seem practically normal Bruises looked like diamonds, rags looked almost formal Constant clouds over my head, Mother Nature grounded me Invisible to eyes that see, and a nobody in society An intrusion of a delusion, slowly suffocating me Far from free, I was pulled further out into sea OM of October. |
Ill edit this post with links later. I have homework to start up on :)
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P.o.e.t.r.y.....
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L.I.-
you nice fam, thats for damn sure, the flow was off the hook, structured the vocab perfect and everything fit together,i cant say i see any weak parts at all, i think everything was on target and shit was dope. laureate- your flow was more deep in my opinion, it was dope as well, i like the emotion you put into it, i felt like i was the one writing it in a sense, i got to say you and L.I. are dope together, i think this was a very nice colab, looking forward to more of you two, peace |
Thanks man. Upping for some feedback, please dont sleep on this. Leave a link and I will hit it up.
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Opened as L.I wished..Links are coming soon if not :nono:
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Upping ill have them links asap :)
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good peice,i felt nice emotion from this...flow was
good,stayed to topic...and thats a good concept by the way...vocab was used nicely here...overall this was a good OM dropped from yall both |
This was decent.
Just give feed on LI casuse the other aint on rv? Your flow was consistant throughtout witha good rhymescheme including multis and structure. The imagery was there and as was the vocab. Decent mate, *Adds L.I to topical roster?* |
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=191583
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2477090 Daubs sent me em..your lucky :shoot: |
Daubs is my hero. Thanks bro :)
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Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppp ppppppppp
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Nice written.....
havent seen some open mics from you in a while... |
yea... this was a good piece 9.98/10
the onli tinz i gotta problem wid iz those HOES !!!!! lak of respect to the real women out ther !!!!!!!! |
Upping this should be OM hall of fame
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