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Diligence vs Drama Queen
Battle Rules:
20-30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting TOPIC: Mirrored Worlds "Participants can't be disqualified for having more than 5 open battles" The Establishment vs. Trigga Town Inc. G'Luck Muthafuckaz :thumbup: Minimum posts to vote: 300 Check in by: 10-18-05 at 03:25 AM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. Closed - expired battle win |
Drama Queen has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-17-05 01:54 PM.
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Diligence has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-18-05 12:07 AM.
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Mirrored Worlds Mommy...mommy...where are you... Mommy…soft screams silently float in the faintly lit room There she lays, the vulnerable creature once in my womb Her golden brown locks firmly cling to blushing cheeks As a vague moon reflects in her eyes she utters shrieks Mommy...why did you leave me...where did you go... State of dim despair shows throughout trembling hands Pain pierces through my heart, it aches by her demands Why can I not reach her, she cannot even hear me speak! Or just perceive my presence when I touch her pink cheek As glistering tears gently escape her green esoteric eyes When she suddenly throws off her one obscure disguise And there she stands…naked…only covered by pale skin To fill the emptiness within and commit most devilish sin I try to get nearer but I fail…she stands staring in mirror Blank gaze as she clasps to the knife, I start to fear her Mommy…I’ll be there soon…together with you… Why…why…my precious princess… Why did you do it… My heart so ruthlessly torn apart in a million pieces Her breathless body…and terrifying anger increases I stroke her hair; I view her eyes that turned to glass Time continues to pass; I want her to breathe at last Blood slowly floods in the cracks of the wooden floor The angel I adore who fought and now ended own war Though I cannot cry…for I am still so unaware of why She did the deed, I never will no matter how hard I try One thing that can’t be explained is mystery of dead For no one on the planet can foresee what lies ahead I’ll never know why…she ended her life… Her diary reads: Mommy, why did you end your own life? Why did you leave me all alone? Was I not good enough? Didn’t you love me? Mommy…I’ll be there soon… |
Selma, Alabama
March 7, 1965 I reside in a world abundant of racial schism Neighborhoods and businesses all in segregated divisions Where a caucasion's mission is to keep us interred in the slums Assaying to circumscribe our rights and force us to succumb For many years, treated my people like mere nulities And confined or slayed the learders that questioned thier authrority Makes me nocturnally dream of no longer being discerned Living with mirrored freedom as the world continues to turn We march to Alabama capitol to stand up for our rights Refuse to live enduring misfortune without a good fight Crosses the bridge, but little did we know, on the other side Was a Police barricade waiting for the group to arrive Persisted marching in valor as they shouted "Turn Back Around" Before I knew it, several tear bombs ricocheted off the ground One explodes before me and the gas swiftly suffusses the air Vision impaired, thick fog got me temporarily blind Hearing my brothers cries echoing wildly in my mind News media gettin every minute of the pernicoius assault But didnt stop unreluctant police from ceasing the onslaught Shrit over my mouth, crawling, trying to elude the attack But rapidly halted in my tracks, after a bullwhip across the back Tearing away at my clothing and breaching the surface of my skin Body feels insensible, languished, like its about to give in All we wanted was peace and nothing but chaos unfurled Struggled and strived for us all to live in a mirrored world You have just been through the mind of a black man during the Civil Rights Era. |
This was feedback posted for Drama Queen
pollz muthafuckaz....................................... ........
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This was feedback posted for Drama Queen
Polls.
Good drop DQ. ....................... |
Upping this for the crew battle to be closed.
- Soul. |
This was feedback posted for Diligence
God shit fams............................................
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This was feedback posted for Diligence
ya kno i gotta check dem pollzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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This was feedback posted for Diligence
Uppin For yall Peoples.........................................
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This was feedback posted for Drama Queen
polls............................................. ...
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Voted For: Drama Queen
Drama Queen-Ok...good peice overall.Stayed on topic from start to finish..didn't notice any filler or irrelevant lines.Flow wuz ok...nothing spectacular..but ok,becuz of the basic rhyme scheme and all.But the content was good.Complexity and everything wuz on point.Tho the whole death thingy is gettin a little bland in topicals.It's being used a lot. Dilifence-The concept you used was more creative than Drama Queen's.Only problem wuz that i felt you forced ya flow and put big ass words that didn't tie to the topic.And that kinda made it more boring of a text read to be honest. Vote-Drama Queen Drop a vote in the link below plz http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=209572 |
Thanks for vote and feed...
I'll need another link to return the honest favor though...Daubs is in my crew... |
I got a battle with Pop Lotty..?
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