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-   -   Speats- Nobody Loves Me (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=212502)

Speats 10-23-05 11:47 PM

Speats- Nobody Loves Me
 
a small 8 bars, please leave feed, its not a true story but had to do one, some of it are true, some not, imma leave two links tomorow morning i promise please dont close this


Ive been beaten, spitted on, That was my life style
So i was hidding my tears behind my fake smile/
My dad was in the army, not there often and not 1 call
The true story of my brother, he wasint there for me at all/
When he was, he had fun punching me with his friends
I was hidding but he kept finding me and beating me again/
I thaught i was a punching bad, i had to quit school
No friends,so i started to smoke, i thaught id look cool/
5 months ago, i meant a girl and thaught i was perfect
But she left me cuz she thaught that we didnt connect/
2 weeks after she left me, she found someone new
I have anger when she tells me: hes better than you/
The girl made fun of me, fuck her, damn i felt alone
Imma shoot myself as soon i find the gun at home/

left feed on WhiteBoy
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2506664
left feed on JRoy but cant find the link lol

Kawn Flixx 10-24-05 12:42 AM

Drop two links or this will be closed

OrEo da cookie 10-24-05 02:30 AM

hey man..you trying to say something?
but this was cool..i aint get into it cuz like you said it aint about you..
on bar was off
5 months ago, i meant a girl and thaught i was perfect
But she left me cuz she thaught that we didnt connect/
didnt flow to well for some reason {readin this to that 50 cent just a lil bit beat lol}
but everything else was good

JRoy 10-24-05 03:32 PM

damn speats this is a pretty deep piece..aint too shabby....i'm feeling the context of the rhyme scheme and your flow was good the whole way through....you had decent vocab..seems like ur tryin too bring a life story of some sort nice shit..
overall 7/10

Speats 10-24-05 08:34 PM

...............

Arsen 10-24-05 08:46 PM

Damn, Hard Times?? Well Its All Good Fam...Nice Free, Short But Sweet Caught My Attention

My dad was in the army, not there often and not 1 call
The true story of my brother, he wasint there for me at all/

^Fuccccccccked Up

Speats 10-24-05 10:25 PM

thanks i guess man

L.E 10-25-05 01:05 AM

Damn...pretty deep...I can relate this shit to way back when...

Damn haven't left feed on an open mic for so long, I almost forget how...

ALMOST.

Structure was decent...some bars were stretched, but meh...lyrics are felt, flow is pretty good...vocab is decent as well.

Overall, good shit, and start making songs again you hoe. :thumbup:

gladbag 10-25-05 01:09 AM

I’m in tune with storms wearing uniforms like soldiers
Marching in parades watching blades ducking knives bolder
Than Davy Crockett, gravy in my pocket looking over my shoulder
Wear true leather together with denim jeans in them with seams
Busted my theme trusted like the Girl Scout’s motto that beams
Bright, try step strong but being slept on this site sucks bad
These cats tell crab stories should be in laboratories glad
To learn grammar grab a firm hammer and nail your sad
Rhymes to walls yall mind stalls like low batteries in automobiles

Speats 10-25-05 06:14 PM

get the fuck out of here you wack ass herb

Macca 10-28-05 11:54 AM

damn man this is dope. your line believe it or not are a little deeper than mine. I ain't tryna brag but you needa do better wording like I do. shit drop some more stuff like this. its friggin dope. loved this piece.

Speats 10-31-05 08:23 PM

thanks alot macca


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