RapVerse.com Community - disorder in the court jokes

> Subject: Disorder in the Courts
>
> > These are from a book called Disorder in the
> American Courts, and are things people actually said
> in court, word for
> word, taken down and now published by court
> reporters who had the torment of
> staying calm while these exchanges were actually
> taking place.
> >
> > Q: Are you sexually active?
> > A: No, I just lie there.
> > __________________________________
> > Q: What is your date of birth?
> > A: July 15th.
> > Q: What year?
> > A: Every year.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
> impact?
> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
> memory at all?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > A: I forget.
> > Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of
> something that you've forgotten?
> > _____________________________________
> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with
> you?
> > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't
> remember
> which.
> > Q: How long has he lived with you?
> > A: Forty-five years.
> > _____________________________________
> > Q: What was the first thing your husband said
> to
> you when he woke up that morning?
> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > Q: And why did that upset you?
> > A: My name is Susan.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
> involved in voodoo or the occult?
> > A: We both do.
> > Q: Voodoo?
> > A: We do.
> > Q: You do?
> > A: Yes, voodoo.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
> dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until
> the next morning?
> > A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> > ___________________________________
> > Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how
> old
> is he?
> > _____________________________________
> > Q: Were you present when your picture was
> taken?
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
> August 8th?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: She had three children, right?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: How many were boys?
> > A: None.
> > Q: Were there any girls?
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > A: By death.
> > Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Can you describe the individual?
> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > Q: Was this a male, or a female?
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
> to a deposition notice which I sent to your
> attorney?
> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
> performed
> on dead people?
> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
> people.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
> school did you go to?
> > A: Oral.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
> body?
> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
> why
> I was doing an autopsy.
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> > ______________________________________
> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
> did
> you check for a pulse?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > A: No.
> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
> alive whenyou began the autopsy?
> > A: No.
> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
> a
> jar.
> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
> nevertheless?
> > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
> alive and practicing law somewhere.
>
>
>