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A Desire In One's Heart.
thinking bout you day and night
Wonderin if your the gurl to make my like right Knowin that I could be wrong Makes me turn on them sad slow songs But then again I think of you And say to myself What would happen if she was my boo So now Im writing this to you Cause I want you to know that I want to get to know you I want to be able to call you mine some day And I want my friends to see you as my babee But thats down the line and might take some time But I dont care cause your worth all my time |
Ok, this piece was decent. Your structure was quite choppy but you had good emotion. Your vocab wasnt that great, or your play on words. I was really looking forward to something more in depth and emotional than this but, it came out decent.
Leave feed on my piece.. its in the sig.. 1 |
yea i got u on the structure. buh i didnt know howd to put it.. buh yea thanks again. uppin for some more .
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