X.celent vs Young Un...
 

Battle Rules:

6 - 10 lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 12-16-05 at 03:28 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

X.celent has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-16-05 02:44 PM.

Young Un... has ACCEPTED this battle on 12-16-05 03:25 PM.

Aight Koo Verse....

Uppp...................................

Voted For: Young Un...

XCELENT:

Shit was basic...had a few good lines..you gotta up the vocab u had sum amusing punches...flow was good

Flow: 5/5
Structure: 4/5
Vocab: 1/5
Punches: 2/5
Funny: 3/5

Your wack you were good bck in the day its time to fucking retire
And its like Cs is like your verse the way theyre already expired
Your not sick and any who beleives it is a stupid ignorant fool
Cuz your faking ta sickness like a kid who dont wanna go 2 school

ure best bit...

yung

Structure was so over board it sucked so much lol..it was so hard to flow to it alot dawg cos it was so stretched so

structure :1/5
Flow: 2/5
Punches: 5/5
Vocab: 5/5
Funny: 4/5

lines were dope but stretched...u got this

Up................................................ ..........

Voted For: Young Un...

My rhymes are drastic , your punches are fake like Plastic
Some1 said your audio was dope and u knew he was sarcastic(his sig)
...good
This dude has no brains and hes losing like a retard playing chess
And your rhymes are like your verse , long and just plain pointless
....wack
Im not on your level ha your funny but i guess its kinda true
Only if u warnt counting the 8658890 people that are above you
...corny,sounds like something a lil kid would write
Your wack you were good bck in the day its time to fucking retire
And its like Cs is like your verse the way theyre already expired
...ehh,your wording was bad,
Your not sick and any who beleives it is a stupid ignorant fool
Cuz your faking ta sickness like a kid who dont wanna go 2 school
...REALLY played

Have U Layed-Down-To-Rest My Game-Is-The-Best Ur Life Gets Slated-With-Techs..
And I Hope U Have 'Wesley Snipes In Ya Heart' Cause Imma Put A 'Blade'-In-Ya-Chest..!!
...Good
Im Impailing-The-Fifth..Roam The Streets With The Mac-And-The-Inf..Rap-Up-This-Shit..
I Aint Into 'Scary Movies' Dawg So I Heard Enough Tales-From-This-Crypt (Crip)..!!
...Ok
I Onli Play-With-This-Text..Allow Me Just To Say Whos-The-Best..Im The Greatest-No-Stress..
And Wen Im Spraying-The-Tech I'll Leave A 'Shell In Ya Ass' Like U Laying-An-Egg..!!
..Too gorish for my liking
Just Take This Loss-Kid My Guns 'Spray' Like A-Faucet Im Ill I Don’t Force-It..Not-Often..
U Distraught-Bitch..How Is U Gangsta Wen U Stay On The 'Net Longer' Than A Caught-Fish..!!
...Played
Xcelent U Shuld Pick-Ya-Casket This Shit-Is-Drastic Distraught-Action Wen U Rapped-In-Plastic..
Convict-This-Bastard..N 'Pierce Ya Chest' Like Wearin Paul's-Jersey-Backwords
...Good..

Ok,Young UN.. got this.
X.Celent..
your wording sucked in this battle,and it messed up some lines..like the C.S one.And the kids.illness.school line is played out.So work on wording and creativity.

V/Young Un..

Drop an honest vote in the link below please...
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=213623

Thank You....Will Rtf In A min Jus Recordin This Track:) Pz

Upppp............

This was feedback posted for Young Un...
 

You have a good rhyme scheme but this seems to make your actual punches lack impact. The punches I thought were strongest were played concepts. I mean I thought you had a decent flip but line such as:

I Onli Play-With-This-Text..Allow Me Just To Say Whos-The-Best..Im The Greatest-No-Stress..
And Wen Im Spraying-The-Tech I'll Leave A 'Shell In Ya Ass' Like U Laying-An-Egg..!!
Just Take This Loss-Kid My Guns 'Spray' Like A-Faucet Im Ill I Don’t Force-It..Not-Often..
U Distraught-Bitch..How Is U Gangsta Wen U Stay On The 'Net Longer' Than A Caught-Fish..!!

.. Have been done before. You have a nice rhyme scheme but I though your actual punches lacked originality.

There was nothing here that took me. I mean the rhyme scheme was basic & your punches were not witty, original nor powerful. Overall too basic, just making statements that lacked much skill.

V/ Young Un

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=217324

This was feedback posted for Young Un...
 

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