|
Mentalz vs Oz.
Battle Rules:
Topical 16 - 40 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topic: Passing Me By Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 01-12-06 at 07:23 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Oz. has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-09-06 07:25 PM.
|
Mentalz has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-09-06 07:27 PM.
|
Good luck man. ;)
I'll prolly use all of the drop time just cos' i've been busy lately and the next few days are going to be hell at work. & I've been sick. |
Passing Me By All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By The Pain The Horror The Shame and Defeat I've Given Up On Life Because Life Has Given Up On Me My Tears of Blood Sorrounding Face of Remorse My Dreams of Flying Are Dying And Falling Off Course I Use To Believe That I Could Achieve Anything But Now I Just Plead For People To Give Me Everything I Have No Hope Just Like My Money And Home Its Gone No Longer Free To Roam Freely And Peacfully But Yet Its Still Amazing How Hope Seems To be So Hastlty Grazing And Skinning My Heart To Pearce My Mind And With The Blood I Wish To Find Everything That's Missing Inside So Divine Give Me Thoughts And I'll Research My Crimes Yeah Life A Burden But My Troubles Are a Bind All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By |
Passing Me By All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By The Pain The Horror The Shame and Defeat I've Given Up On Life Because Life Has Given Up On Me My Tears of Blood Sorrounding Face of Remorse My Dreams of Flying Are Dying And Falling Off Course I Use To Believe That I Could Achieve Anything But Now I Just Plead For People To Give Me Everything I Have No Hope Just Like My Money And Home Its Gone No Longer Free To Roam Freely And Peacfully But Yet Its Still Amazing How Hope Seems To be So Hastlty Grazing And Skinning My Heart To Pearce My Mind And With The Blood I Wish To Find Everything That's Missing Inside So Divine Give Me Thoughts And I'll Research My Crimes Yeah Life A Burden But My Troubles Are a Bind All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By Giddy Luck Big Man |
....................Oh YEah Goodluck To Dog
That Came off teh dmoe bcuz i prolly wont be back on none this week either with school and church and all that so yeahh \ Goodlukcy |
.:Passing me by:. To little, To late Present Day In purgatory, the old man sat, reflecting on his life's past .. Seconds, minutes, moments passed his last chance .. Can't forecast a future of passion when you don't strive So he remained abeyent all the while is mind nose dived 55 Years Earlier .. He sits at twenty, his mind rippin' on the street corner .. On about his noise n' keeps his beat former, poise proper .. The party stopper, can keep a crowd goin' as he's flowin' All the while knowin' what God gave him, what he's got goin' .. For him, his talent is his fortune & he knows his motives But he can't escape his motions & remains in psychosis Deranged, lost in commotion and yet he's chosen unspoken Verily he's broken, but he wont know it for some years past Until the tears crash and splash upon his youth's aftermath The after clap, of how he lacked motivation will finally seep .. To infest his inner thoughts and creep deep into his sleep .. Narration So many have it, they're gifted but never tap that mental keg And so they hobble for some cause as their dreams fade away As shades of gray .. until they're invisible to all but individuals Who know deep inside, they had potential windows n' credentials |
.:Passing me by:. To little, To late Present Day In purgatory, the old man sat, reflecting on his life's past .. Seconds, minutes, moments passed his last chance .. Can't forecast a future of passion when you don't strive So he remained abeyent all the while is mind nose dived 55 Years Earlier .. He sits at twenty, his mind rippin' on the street corner .. On about his noise n' keeps his beat former, poise proper .. The party stopper, can keep a crowd goin' as he's flowin' All the while knowin' what God gave him, what he's got goin' .. For him, his talent is his fortune & he knows his motives But he can't escape his motions & remains in psychosis Deranged, lost in commotion and yet he's chosen unspoken Verily he's broken, but he wont know it for some years past Until the tears crash and splash upon his youth's aftermath The after clap, of how he lacked motivation will finally seep .. To infest his inner thoughts and creep deep into his sleep .. Narration So many have it, they're gifted but never tap that mental keg And so they hobble for some cause as their dreams fade away As shades of gray .. until they're invisible to all but individuals Who know deep inside, they had potential windows n' credentials |
Im hella retarded and posted it in the normal quick reply by mistake first. :p
|
Voted For: Mentalz
v/mentalz i think oz. didn't really go too much indepth with his, it was easy, and he basically just grazed on the topic....focused too much on rhyming it. mentalz came here with a vivid story of a guy who let it all slip away from him, and i really liked it, even though it should've been longer, well, it seemed like it easily could've, but yeah, mentalz definately came with a nice piece here, good job to both rtf on this with an explained vote please http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=219121 v/mentalz |
Thanks bro, gona peep it now. Appreciate the feed and explanation. Oh and the vote.
|
Voted For: Mentalz
Best topical battle I have peeped in a while both come really dope, both using two different styles. Mentalz ~ really nice writing fams, your verse was the more complex. You had a very good use of vocab and the flow was on point. I liked the way you broke the verse up and the whole concept of the verse. Trying to make people realise that if you don't do nothing now you will just regret it in the future. Oz totally different concept to Mental and the style of writing to. You verse was more fluid with great flowless flow a very enjoyable read. The creativeness in the story was great. The reason I went for Mental was because I felt that his verse was more complex, and a very solid drop. Oz I think if you droped the same amount of lines u would have taken this. Stay up both and keep writing very enjoyable battle 1~ |
Yeah I Gotta Admit Man Your Lines are more complex than mines but my Plot is better than yours i think
We Need to Collab Sometime dog what do you say? |
Yea, hit me up. Uppin' the battle for feed or votes.
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:22 AM. |