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_Elevation_ 01-26-06 11:20 PM

Shortest Poem, Makes You Think
 
Picture this


Bright Eyes, When You Gaze In Them, You Can See A Life
That's Full Of Potential. One That Amazes You As To How'
Something This Precious Could Be Conceived. It Makes You
Take A Good Look Back On Life, Reflect And Review On What
This Life Has Made You. Life Is Like A Short Blanket. No
Matter How Much You Strive To Cover Your Whole Body,
There Is Always That One Spot That Is Exposed To The
Cold. You Make Due With What You Have Until You Are
Satisfied With The Outcome. You Sacrifice Certain Things
So That You Can Carry On. Have You Ever Pictured A
Child, Looking Up At You, Calling You Daddy?



I don't know, it can suck, i personally dont care.. i just thought i was gonna be a father ... yeah. im 14 years old.. i had to share
peace

Ikaros 02-04-06 04:39 PM

14 and a dad... Fuck that!!! Nice piece dawg keep it strapped up before you jack up lol

Mentor 02-05-06 04:09 PM

this wasnt the deepest poem i ever read u need a lil elevation, the structure wasnt the neatest and it was somewhat espressive but i think u pretty much just did this just ta drop a poem for feed...put your feeling into it and add some emotion in ur writing, ask urself on what ur true feelings are what ur truly going through at that very moment and express urself...if your happy make a poem bout sumthin happy if ur sad make a depressed poem if u strugglin wit sumthin make it inta a poem...when u put ur real emotion into it is when u truly shine as a poet and a rapper but werd this wasnt too bad id give this a 5.5/10 keep elevating Elevation

atti? 02-05-06 06:30 PM

Pm me with two links to have this re-opend.

atti? 02-05-06 06:31 PM

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*Closed*


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