time passing us by (my version)
 

chorus

as time keeps passing us by. in my community.
watching the children die. and the police with there brutality.
being broke got us forgetin our needs.
and u wonder why our children keep smoking weed.

verse:

time is passing us by. as we move in slow motion.
as ppl begin 2 die, we sink slowly 2 the bottom of the ocean.
we stuck in a knot. tryin 2 untie our selfs.
we take wut we got, and remove the gunz from the shelf.
every day, in this community.
we throw our lives away. with gunz and brutalaty.
children look for food, in the dirty garbage.
in a pisted mood, and damn we all starven.
beging for food. in the supermarket.
asking for change, in the parkinglot.
we try 2 rearrange, but the clothes on our back is all we got.
we struggle all the time, movin from park 2 bridge.
all my sisters do is whine. and we sleep in the same ditch.
we cant go 2 school. cus we all broke.
so we like the other foolz still tryin to sell coke.


as time keeps passing us by. in my community.
watching the children die. and the police with there brutality.
being broke got us forgetin our needs.
and u wonder why our children keep smoking weed.

verse:

back in the day, when i was a lil kid.
i threw my life away, hidin drugs under a garbage lid.
instead of savin my money. i threw it down the drain.
aint it funny? i brought all this weed 2 my brain.
with so much on my mind. i dont think i can return.
all i do is grind and by each mistake u learn.
but with so many mistakes, i dont think i can.
im like leaves 2 rake, 2 many for one hand.
i have so many problems. i dont know where 2 start.
i tryed 2 solve'em. i feel like i should rip out my own heart.
but i let god take me away, from the suffering and pain.
so i prey every sunday. and hope it dont rain.

as time keeps passing us by. in my community.
watching the children die. and the police with there brutality.
being broke got us forgetin our needs.
and u wonder why our children keep smoking weed.

aint done yet.... so yea.... post some stuff anyway telll me how it is...

I liked the concept behind this piece. You need to work a little on your structure and play-on-werds... Multi's co9uld use a tiny bit of work too :)

All in all, nice verse. Keep ya head up Soljah!