Dissection Of A Chain Letter
 

This is one of those bulletin chain letters from Myspace, lets take a look...

First, note the all capital letters, meant for emphasis...

WHEN YOU ALREADY START READING THIS
DONT STOP OR ELSE SUMTHIN BAD WILL HAPPEN .....
MY NAME IS Kirk Kahler ... (Notice how it's spelled well and not all caps, this is an actual name, probably from the herb who wrote this)
I AM 45 YEARS OLD
WITH MASSIVE PUBIC LICE (massive pubic lice? doesn't exist, but meant to be scary)
AND A TIGHT PURPLE SWEATER.
I HAVE A TWO INCH PENIS.
AND I DON`T KNOW HOW TO MASTURBATE. (obviously a lie, all guys can do that, even if they are paralyzed, its a reflex, not a skill)
I HAVE NO LEFT FOOT OR EARS.
I AM DEAD. (this makes a lot of sense, because dead people often visit myspace, right? no, actually, they just added this on cuz it made it more scary)
IF U DO NOT REPOST THIS IN THE NEXT 5 MIN.,
I WILL APPEAR TONIGHT BY YOUR BED (what if we don't have a bed? aha! this is obviously a hoax)
WITH A FUCKING CAN OPENER AND WILL MAKE YOU HELP ME MASTURBATE. (a can opener, bitch, you cant even jack off, i'm sure a can opener won't be much help)
THIS IS NO JOKE
SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U TONIGHT AT 10:22. SOMEONE WILL CALL U
OR TALK TO U ON THE INTERNET (because satisfaction obviously envelopes calls, masterbation, and internet chats, DUH!)
REPOST THIS WITH THE WORD EWWWWWWWW!!! (because thats how we all feel)

Lmfao @ you being scared.

You can never be too sure, I guess.

LMAO!!!!!!!!
Chain letters are so funny...
I never post them on myspace...

roflol, ya, I actually used to believe all that stuff, but you totally changed my perspective.

I have never sent chain letters on...

People who take them seriously are schmucks and pathetic morons who believe that because some other equally as stupid moron told them to send their 'chain letter' to 15 or more people or something bad will happen... It's actually gonna come true...

What a crock of shit....

I have never seen the point of those letters.

Leady sent me a chain letter that said along the lines of resend to 5 people you know and make a wish blah and you'll get a wish of yours come true and a phone call within 5 mins...

3:06 was the time i was meant to get a call

and i got a call at 3:06...

but i was at work...so it was mere coincidence

*fishing hook goes through nos's eyes and brain and kills him*


*horror movie, chain letter 2 starts*

People do it cos they have no friends.

I'v started a number of them....

[walkie-talkie voice]Myspace is gay, over.[/walkie-talkie voice]

SO funny!
What's a Strobe..
LMAO