Hold ya head Feat. Bob Marley & One Mic
 

(Hook) Bob Marley
Go and hold ya head and cry...
Cause a son just got shot in tha streets and died. (x2)
(1st Verse) Knaledg1
Fuck tha bullshit watchin' bullets rip through my hip,
I fell quick my nigga Cris was fast to assist,
He put five in a bitch and told tha rest to back up,
Than said hurry up nigga b'fo' these cats play tough,
So now we runnin' buckin' mad shots through tha block,
Woke tha neighbors up simultaneous callin' tha cops,
Broke a left through tha alleyway feelin' real dazed,
Can't allow myself to get caught up in this death maze,
My heart stopped when I heard tha shot my nigga Cris dropped,
Tha next thing I know I see a light leadin' to god sayin...
(Hook) Bob Marley
Go and hold ya head and cry...
Cause a son just got shot in tha streets and died. (x4)
(2nd Verse) One Mic
Don’t get involved in shit, ‘cause people do but them dudes are fools
And don’t let people manipulate you, only do shit you choose to do
I use my tunes, as guidance, to put me on the right track
Most of these cats got glocks so aint no point trynna fight back
Man, don’t put yourself in these risky situations
Leavin after that shit unhurt, is usually just amazing
im usin my scriptures, to show me where I need to be
get caught up in bad shit, and you’ll be struggling wit breathin G
I eat emcee’s, to stand out from the rest
Before I pass away, I wanna be able to stand out as the best
I wanna be known as dope as fuck, before I die
And to do that im gonna have to hold my head up high.
(Hook) Bob Marley
Go and hold ya head and cry...
Cause a son just got shot in tha streets and died. (x4)

yer yer uppin this shit yo..........

links:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221436
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221742

:thumbup:

uppin this............................................

this piece was ok.......i like the first verse and one mic, you should have used soem multies and maybe some imagery.....try make your reader feel what you saying. Nice job tho......i like how the first person whent into the chorus.......rtf withering hope OM

thanx for the feed yo....

i already left feed on ya "withering hope" piece aswell, tech.............

you really coulda used a description of the pain of you being shot in the first verse, or even a greater discription of how you felt when ya boy got shot... Or even some sort of explanation as to why you're in that situation at all... as is this seems really imcomplete... On top of that yeah you really coulda used some interlocking rhymes... mabye multies... or just rhyme more often per line... ya structure was also off... and neither verses looked like a whole 16 bars...

Thanx fo' tha feedback and appreciate tha comments.