|
Poverty In Democracy [Don't Sleep]
Poverty In Democracy We've learned to share nothing, but the shining sun and moon, beans, bullets, band-aids, hand grenades, and platoons. Walking under this blue dome, all alone, far from home, In a country founded by Indians, we now call our own. Following laws enforced by the corrupted police where we imprison in the name of freedom; kill in the name of peace. Walking by children with no shoes, no socks on their feet past the veterans sifting trash for something to eat. I walked up the steps and knelt at Lincoln's feet and wept in vein while he remained in his seat. I looked to the Capital, such a symbol of wealth, neglecting our elderly with diminishing health. politics, red tape, and government bureaucracy Home sweet Home our democracy of hypocrisy. Democracy, distributive traditionally nailed to the cross, The economic military, the surreptitious stiffling boss No public employment just deployment, the cost, Human-Life, the untold reasons, an unforgivable loss New-Age feudalism fosters economic deprivation, its trash, the Contemporary peasant, the pheasant under glass Poverty, economical and societal sabotage Of genocide’s judiciary-legislative-executive entourage Maintained by the struggle for world-power, the facade smashed, looters ransack residents, and snatch the pride and cash Poverty, the parochial purveyor of democracy, The... unilateral collateral for the aristocracy The... Holy Political Empire, the squire and page, Remnant from the patriotic, now begins the Dark Age The poverty-police practitioners petitioning pander, People are prisoners to propagandizing foreign slander Riots, explosions, terrorist attacks and broken fenders, Starved into surrenderity, all for the legal-tender! People, the glorious labor-force for globalization, The justification for human immolation, the auspices of world-domination Intellectual enterprise is merchandise in disguise as a profanity, Global, culture-vulture, feasting on underdeveloped humanity. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2658561 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2658567 |
Are you serious? I leave feed but dont get none?
|
Chill, feed will come. Anyway's, this was a good verse, nicly done with the flow, rhyme scheme was good. The concept was cool, writing in 2nd person. You viewed your feelings of the Democracy was quite good. Vocab was cool, noting much more to say. This was overall a good verse, keep it up.
|
Finally. Thanks Puddy, if thats you. I'll be peeping yours soon.
|
nice verse suspicious....it flowed nicely and the rhyming was interesting to read. i liked the idea and the structure was easy. good job tho....rtf in any of my OM
|
this was an aight peace nothing really special but nice work man....just up ur imagery a lil more wit VOCAB DEMAND MAN!
but this was good and jkeeep up and do yo thang man! |
now that's what I'm talking about... this was a stand alone piece right here... blazin' from start to finish with a constant assult on the senses visually, emotionally, and with a creative and deep vocab... Not to mention the flow was just pulsading... very much felt... really enjoyed the 1st half the most... all the way up to the Home sweet home line... Real good shit right there... structurally there are a few spots in there that are off a syllable of to in format... but like I said before the flow is constant... great drop
*Vanishes* |
Thanks everyone.
|
... 1st thing i got to say is that ur piece was hot no doubt, had flow,imegry,structure,meanin,purpose and the content was kept fluent throughout..this piece did not jump about and was striaght to point with current affairs... and also what makes ur piece stand out is the fact that you dint rap thuggish-rubbish
this piece shudnt get slept on PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! |
Word homie this was a very good drop i was really feeling it you had amazing wordplay and vocab usuage.. your emotions and feelings was really on point , and i was really feeling the point of view you took here.. your structure was also good and i was really feeling this whole drop nice job suspicious.. but i think i gave you that name ;)
|
Haha, thanks mayne.
|
I saw this at RB.
|
Ok? I dont really care.
|
bumperz. carz. bitchez.
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:34 AM. |