The Broken Mirror
 

There I am looking back at my own reflection thru the glass
hoping so intensely that my future is clearer than the past
…Few years fucking in oblivion blurred, masked behind cloud
obscure omens clutter my path, I seek refuge under the shroud
Far from the harshness of realism, beyond all realms of indifference
…using telepathy as anew figure-of-speech and significance
A distant land beckons me, still I’m turned in reverse by destiny
…in the shape of icy threats and verbal WordPerfect weaponry
It makes no difference to me between one conception & the next
my rhymes roll on, like one big continuous conundrum of stress

I reveal hits, my will to live breaking thru brick-walls wit steel-fists
ya’ll cats feel it, I spill true-life, make truth stick n hit fans wit real shit
Fools slip on my words, it’s diabolic, and politics get on the nerves
I could flip on the verge of a chronic sickness n let rip on the Earth
Defend my grim bones spitting fire & brimstone, hotness is brewing
then scrape my eyes from their sockets so I’ll no longer witness the ruin
Stomping over concrete cracks, the street collapses in my aftermath
…I pen in a fever as I complete the last chapters of my epitaph.
Here lies the spirit of a soldier sunken in drunken fits of anger
I stare back at the mirror, my vision freezes over; it’s a cliff-hanger

………………To be continued




linkages-
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222170
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222347

this was a deep pieace with gud use of volcab and rhyme words,,,, structure was pretty gud and topik was deep

keep elevatin

1

safe
bump



i wrote this a few weeks back.. i already wrote the next part as well

might post it sometime.. if any 1 would like to see it that is

?

lolz...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

sleepy

...guess we'll skip on postin da p'rt 2 then

this was a deep piece, good vocabulary and the imagery was pretty good, structure was pretty nice and you stayed on the topic well... the multies were pretty cool and the word usage was good, keep it up

thanx Savior


raise

uppin to the top

Eh, nothing that special to me. Maybe it's just cuz I've read stuff a lot like this before. Everything was decent, but there was nothing wow worthy. Didn't really keep my attention, you have potential. Keep writing.

Yeah feels like I've read this before. Technically this was good and I hope you put a more concrete story in the next part. I loved the multies and such. Hope your next part is a bit longer and has more meat to make a story thats memorable. Bit toooo abstract.