Heres a quick ten that is up for a collab
 

Not my best work but if someone can put this as a topic and write a verse to it to make a collab with me hit me up and we can work on a hook...word...1


Im struggling with the problems of everyday life
Cant deal with it,I want to end the everyday strife
I have an itching buzz to end this feeling of pain
Lurking is tha killer waiting for his chance to slain
Then plain as day the haters tore him limb from limb
Suddenly the light to heaven wasnt seeming so dim
That calamity put me into a great state of depression
My life was caving in and i cant escape tha compression
I couldnt give up, didnt want to wind up on a flat line
Why waste this great life and this even greater mind

not bad...
good flow
rhymes were good but try adding a couple more multies
and if u want someone to collab with that try making it longer

"waiting for his chance to slain" this is worded extremely ocwardly... I get what you're trying to say... but the word slain is just used wrong... you need it in a different tense... anyway aside from that this was aight... You mentioned yaself via "I" a lil too much... if the subject character hasn't changed and it does nothing for you lyrically there is no reason to constantly reintroduce the subject character... the readers already know who you're talking about untill change the subject character to someone, or thing else...