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Dynomite (Indeph)
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222433
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222730 I dunno.. I was listenin' to Nas's project windows and felt like writing a verse.. gime feed, 1st drop in a while. Dynomite Today...... I have decided, to minus the time with the dynomite, lets travel to where the fire ignited.. and arrive in the past, and try to see if kindness'll work.. but get shot in the eye from behind a year prior my birth.. they will call me a liar, no one will admire my words.. and... the quior's not reachin the kids, and I'm tired of sermans.. so many statements being said without the proper knowledge colleges expensive and we got oscar nominated politicians if you follow this, you probably have been swallowin feelins of knowing you smarter then alot of these kids, bottled it in wallowin in disgust, with hallow spirits, stayin optomistic when you know damn well you gotta problem with it...... kids with buyin ice, sellin white, with refer investments.. we got greed and poverty, so what if neither compresses? The dynomite's kissin the fire, wyfe beaters injected.. the wick's losin height, waitin for a finger to press it... Ok cool and stuff. I love you. |
you skipped a line in your flow, so it got choppy...the part with knowledge, read it agai and you'll see. but this was good, i get those moments as well, when you wanna write a verse due to a song. good overall, nice vocab and some good rhyming. rtf homie in my OM tears of ink
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That knowledge line was a semi rhyme and it carried on to the next line.
And I'll def hit it up now. |
oh ok, so how you like my new name?
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Rofl
Yeah it be illy. |
why thank you, i knew you'd think that.....we should be in the depth crew.....def
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hmmmm I liked it... though it was kinda short... nice vocab selection... got the idea across... not overly emotional... good shit... keep doing you
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I didn't read it... Why? Cus I already know how you do it... in OM's only. :O
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Flow wasn't too big of an issue, seemed more of a poetic type piece so flow isn't nessesarily a large factor... I thought that this verse was extremely good. Had imagary and emotion throughout, the dynamite was a good way of ending it off with emotion - showing that the problem has only just begun.. nice work .
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...407#post2666407 |
I love you
and arrive in the past, and try to see if kindness'll work.. but get shot in the eye from behind a year prior my birth.. dopness |
very dope drop...although i feel you should drop another full track (audio or text)...but dis is whats up...nice vocab, wordplay, and a fuckin semi-rhyme! i love dat shit yo...RTF on my shit please, link in sig yo...easy
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Today...... I have decided, to minus the time with
the dynomite, lets travel to where the fire ignited.. The dynomite's kissin the fire, wyfe beaters injected.. the wick's losin height, waitin for a finger to press it short but sweet, well written, could've been touched up here and there, but whatever, you probly did it quick :)....thought those were the best 4 lines, just happened to be the most important ones, good job man, keep up |
Damn dephy this was really good short and sweet , you had lovely emotions and very good feeling i was really feeling it , your wordplay and vocab usuage was mediocre but it was very well written which really covered up for it .. but overall very short but good drop.. next time hit me up so we can do a collabo.
pz. |
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