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Ritual
with eyes still all shackled
in the blindest of traps, i'll; risk my life, flick the lights on & rise to do battle surprisingly rattled, now i shake the five o'clock shadow; coffee soaks in, for the moment life's defined by a tangle. . a rec-tangle, that is. & i gaze at it as a raving addict. taking in my facial mask as one of life's contagious facets a favorite practice, guiltily. . sure, the word may be right - but, i continue carefully, glimpsing in obscure shades of light. from the right to the left, now in spite & contempt. . one illfated glimpse make tangle & life seem unkempt entitled to sense, mine fail & even stifle my rep, when - a late or a tardy equates to an hour of mistitled 'detention' the world calls, now i laugh & don't accept the charges a regretful car spins wheels, my startled heels are incredibly charged, when. . i catch that PERFECT glimpse, & i'm finally cool. til i realize: my smile's here. . that is, three miles from school. this is addiction - a shameful one at that. |
Atti i will drop 2 links when people drop more poems because i looked at all the ones on this first page and i have left feedback on all if not on the site then it was when they showed me they shit on AIM to ask me what i though. And im not going to go threw the second page and upp 4 month old poetry pieces.
Drop some feed though if you peep this |
OMG, thats niice, if i knew alot of poetic type words to explain then i would but i dont.
anyway. i liked your rhyming words. everything seem to be emotional in some way. and i felt it. very good work. hope to see more from ya. |
I really liked this piece.
It was nice the way you had that picture to emphasize the meaning of the poem.. |
this was ill....i actually thought i knew what you were saying..and I did....i didn't even click the link to the picture untill i scrolled down and say OMB's feedback mentioning the picture...i thought it was just an underlined word the provide emphasis
this was a great piece..best i've read tonight at the least your rhyme scheme was very well done, appropriate words and the use of stanzas great metaphors good shit return the favor if you get a chance http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2699946 |
You've reached the three poem maximum.
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