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Lauren Tennant, Happy Birthday :(
 It feels like we're abandoned and it should never even of happened in the first place but i'l wish away my dismay and wish you a happy birthday loved from manchester to your birthplace, never forgoten aniversary's approaching,our hearts return..still broken even as this is spoken, its not enough. but its a small token of all our love we look up to you, as you look down on us from above and although, be here; you should, a life to have stayed but destinys decision was made and it'l never be changed its true we all prayed, but you should never have died insides burn for your return just to say our goodbyes we have to learn it wont happen so this rhythm's a doubt but I know WHEREVER you are, you will be listening now Rest In Peace Lauren Tennant 6th April 1991 - 6th May 2005 |
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Feed back .
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Wow, you know... I LOVED this piece. It was so short and to the point which really didn't give it time to ever lose the emotion or authenticity of the feel. The birth/death date and picture also just made this super heart felt because now we have a face and facts which pull in the reader and make this soooooo engadging. It's a piece you really can't NOT feel, it's just... The Heart. I mean, with all of that ^, you even had a really nice flow and structure to the piece. What I really liked about that is how it felt like you were just talking, not rhyming cuz you have to, not meticulously placing in internal flow patterns, but just talking with the up most fluency. Great job overall man... Sorry for the loss aswell.
Return the favor on my OM: "When The Artist Cries" http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=224727 |
Thanks for the good feed mate.
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upppinnn .
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Man, R.I.P.
Real solid drop, no doubt the emotion was there. Good shit bro. |
its not enough. but its a small token of all our love
we look up to you, as you look down on us from above word up daubsy, you're a good man |
It feels like we're abandoned
and it should never even of happened in the first place but i'l wish away my dismay and wish you a happy birthday good way to start it.. loved from manchester to your birthplace, never forgoten aniversary's approaching,our hearts return..still broken even as this is spoken, feeling this.. its not enough. but its a small token of all our love we look up to you, as you look down on us from above dont make me start crying.. and although, be here; you should, a life to have stayed but destinys decision was made and it'l never be changed feeling the emotion in this bar, man its true we all prayed, but you should never have died insides burn for your return just to say our goodbyes nice.. we have to learn it wont happen so this rhythm's a doubt but I know WHEREVER you are, you will be listening now good closer, RIP I agree what with Atticus said about it being short and to the point.. Some major emotion in this too, I remember you posting when this happened.. RIP.. good piece, man. *Hugs* |
Thanks .
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nice shit daubs, real dope. the lines were structured which made the connection to this piece real deep. the flow was good and the whole birthday to a deceased friend is mad respected by me. the piece was real good and like atty said, the pic and facts made it even easier to connect with.
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RIP
yeh im agreeing with everything atticus said just then.the emotion was real in there. i know how it takes a lot of strength to come to terms with death of a loved one for real, i can relate fam. stay up fam. ~peace~ |
that was good i liked the emotions keep it up had me taken bye the start well good piece over all
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ehhh this sucked.....
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man ignore the fuckin monk, he is an ass and pays no respect. i really liked ur emotion in this shit, u can tell u put some thought into it. nice ryhmes and shit so i was feeling this. keep up kid, every body has 2 go sometime, rip hommie.
keep ur head high |
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