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...Water = Rhymes...
As it comes togeather with great Elegance,
minor words concur and combine wit revelance, fragil minds cant contomplate what this fellow meant, so they settle wit a suddle unwanted settlement, letters come togeather easoly and fluent, my black board listen and learn my students, read each line and try to define each bar, as i reach to deep minds near and far, close your eyes and read your own rhymes, then read mine and realize its about time, to open your mind as LS starts to creep, cause in my dome still waters run deep. . . . LINKS COMING!! |
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this was nice and i loved this part it had an amazing flow to it but what is LS doe?
close your eyes and read your own rhymes, then read mine and realize its about time, to open your mind as LS starts to creep, cause in my dome still waters run deep |
LSD... And Lyric I'll alow you to use those links this time but next time leave some real feedback man. You know perfectly well what good feedback is, and that what you've given isn't anywhere near adequite.
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sorry atticus next time i will give feed in whole.......uppin
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hahaha, I like that..... kinda reminds me of me. We should do a collab or sumthing. Nice use of wurds and the way u made it flow..... Holla at me
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i liked it...nice flow and rhyme. nice vocab too. emotion towards the piece and concept went WELL.
letters come togeather easoly and fluent, my black board listen and learn my students, read each line and try to define each bar, as i reach to deep minds near and far, close your eyes and read your own rhymes, then read mine and realize its about time, to open your mind as LS starts to creep, cause in my dome still waters run deep. . ^ my favorite part of the piece. |
uppin for feedback
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Uppin For Feed Fuckers!!!
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well....it sucked.
lol. j/p. i liked this. it was short and had some good vocab. but you should also worry about punctuation to make sure the reader gets your verse the way it's intended to be read. overall it was a nice little piece to read. |
my black board listen and learn my students,
read each line and try to define each bar, those were my favorite lines in the whole piece... because that is what people do especially on the internet... they dont know you ... they dont know the personal pains u put into you're writing but they always they to dissect everything to the smallest mistake when they dont understand the process of creating because in reality 60% of the people who populate these sites are not artists because they were born that why ... they were influenced by popular culture .. .those two lines kinda flipped the script on them... while they are trying to figure out who u are.. u are accually teaching them something...which is always a trip.... the poem was short but it was decent ... im sure u could do better... because i see the potential ... keep droppin |
shits dope man.
RTF on my poem |
Because you don't give feedback... So why should it be recieved?
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