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-   -   Diary Of A Mad Man (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=227153)

-Substance- 04-25-06 01:13 PM

Diary Of A Mad Man
 
March 25 1987

My First Entry, See I'm Bound To Be The Devil's Advocate
Vaines Twitch With Evil That Churns A Pain In My Abdomen....

I Flex And Sigh, Place What These People Call A Wreck, Aside.
Realize I Was Sentencized To A Toture Chamber And Left To Die
Chained And Bound To The Crackin Cement, A Captured Demon
Frown Upon Angels, A Truce With Luficer For We Knod In Agreement.
The Souls I've Served, Lives I've Sacrificed To The Almighty,
These So Called People's Guardians Tend To Find It To Be Frightnin'.
I On The Other Hand, Find It As Generous As A Man Feedin Pegions.
For I've Found The Foundation In Sins And Ripped It Off It's Hinges.
Hopin The World Understands My Love, I Fall For It's Affection.
Killin' Is A Simple Need In My Everlasting Quest And It's Direction,
But I'll Soon Leave This Dump Hole And Swiver My Handy Blade
Which Will Set Hundreds Free And Make The Ignorant Man Afraid.

March 30, 1987

Barracated Behind Rusting Bars That Conceal My Actions.
I'm Anxious To Escape, Breath Freely To Regain My Passion.
Do The Labor I Applied For And Gain Sins I've Purchased.
But This Decaying Cell Holds My Soul From Reachin It's Purpose.
Eating Crawling Insects To Only Fullfill My Hunger For Death.
Ripped Clothes, I'm Chained With A Man's Blood In My Breath.
I'll Soon Excavate A Path, Ah, Yes! At Darkness I'll Flee.
Begin My Muder Spree And Severed Throats Will Soon Screech.
A Chanting, But Arrogant Noise Of Clubs Rythmically Tauntin The Cells
Drastically Lowers My Patience To Bring This Era A Reign In Hell
Not The Humans, Not The Crawling Insects, Yes! No One Is Safe.
I'll Peel Flesh And Make Performances Of People Hung In Shame.
For I Hold The Devil's Deeds. You'll Only Have Your God To Blame.

April 4, 1987

The Exit Is Paved, The Grave In Which I Rest, Soon Will Rise
A Knife Of Wood, Carved To Perfection Will Jab Hearts And Pierce Eyes
An Army At Hand, I'll Hold Guard To My Sword, A Mimicing Cerberus
Sculture My Reign In Bones For Architecture Is What True Murder Is.
I'll Hold My Entries, Let You Find Out The Dwellings Within My Soul
A Scanvenger, Paying Sacrifices To My God, A Mear Part To Reach My Goal.
See Tonight........(Sigh)
.....Yes, Finally I'll Leave This Pavement Of Cracked Sins And Torture.
And We'll Meet Again......
....You'll Soon Find Out, The Devilish Fractures In Life's Movement Foward.


http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2729669
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=227109

Kawn Flixx 04-25-06 06:31 PM

Drop two links or this will be closed

-Substance- 04-26-06 09:43 AM

uppin for some feedback hoes...............

-Substance- 04-26-06 08:04 PM

12 people viewin this forum yet i can't get one person to leave some fuckin feedbacK?!

::SkandalouS:: 04-27-06 12:33 PM

forme dat was ill...from the 1st line onwards it was gd man...gd multies nd flow

8.9/10

-Substance- 04-27-06 02:00 PM

finally someone gives me some feedback, thanks........

Unfulfilled 04-27-06 03:40 PM

this was nice boo...feelin ya flow...real shit....ah imma give you a 9/10...good job...stay up...1

Introspection 04-27-06 11:07 PM

yea from the get go you were able to draw the reader into your storyline.
arryte first entry really set the tone and you were really able to personify a mad man.
second entry is where i saw the most imagry.
"Eating Crawling Insects To Only Fullfill My Hunger For Death.
Ripped Clothes, I'm Chained With A Man's Blood In My Breath." stood out the most here
third entry "Sculture My Reign In Bones For Architecture Is What True Murder Is." good play on words. and good conclusion

overall i liked it, your detail helped kept me intersested but i think adding more internals would elevate this piece even more. great drop.

i sigged my om maybe you can check it out and tell me what you think..

-Substance- 05-03-06 03:35 PM

thanks for the feedback homie


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