Letting It Slip Away - song
 

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2760968
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2760970

I know now my feelings are getting harder to hide
It tears my heart up inside
I need protection no armor provides
But saying you’re fine without me?
That’s like saying the waves ain’t part of the tide
You once walked out of my life so gracefully
It was a sight I knew I’d hate to see
For the thought of us, in your heart, had no place to be
I didn’t run away from my chance, my chance ran away from me
I do want you to be happy, that’s no lie
But when I see you with her I wanna die
Emotion takes over, from the picture my mind drops
I wish I could rewind clocks
Make time stop
So I could make a minute with you last an eternity
We’re not perfect, but we fit so perfectly
To me, this feeling in my gut is new
All my previous views of love have been cut in two
And now I don’t know what to do
You’re the man of my dreams but my dreams don’t live up to you
Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I need therapy
When my arms are wrapped around you and I miss you terribly
But maybe I’m not insane
Maybe I know exactly how to explain
The fact that you’re always on my brain
My lips whisper your name
And I feel no shame
But there’s a void I unwillingly fill with pain
When it can just as easily be filled with you
I said I loved you once and it still is true
And honestly, I can say I didn’t expect this
But it’s your heart and I’m never gonna be reckless
I know better than to waste your time with flattery
Cuz a single gaze from your eyes could shatter me
And if I know at all who you are, I haven’t gone too far
So if this doesn’t work I’ll wish upon a new star

*Chorus
I don’t know what to do
It’s breaking me in two
I know I love him
But he’s in love with you
I don’t know what to say
I’ve waited for this day
My fantasy’s become reality
And I’m letting it slip away

Is it real? Or is it an illusion of the heart
A false feeling of comfort keeping you both from being apart
But I can see your brown eyes are beginning to wander
And I like to think this won’t last much longer
I’m stronger, while all she can do is throw a fit
But is she smarter? It’s her chance and she won’t let go of it
I can’t blame her, and I’m sure she’d like to ignore me
But she knows we ended the book with an unfinished story
You’re the author of my emotions
Your pen keeps steady motion
And I read without my eyes open
Cuz I read with my heart, something she can’t do
I could love you forever, and believe me I plan to
And I’ll feel this way until the mountains flatten out
The way I chase you, it feels like a game of cat and mouse
But the world’s a crazy place, we gotta face the facts
One day the mice will turn around and chase the cats
I guess I’ll have to wait until that day comes
Cuz that’ll be a chase I won’t run away from

*Chorus
I don’t know what to do
It’s breaking me in two
I know I love him
But he’s in love with you
I don’t know what to say
I’ve waited for this day
My fantasy’s become reality
And I’m letting it slip away

not to be one of "those" people....but feed? anyone??

wuss poppin? this was a nice song, was really feelin the chorus, i liked the second verse betta than the first, the first was still hott tho, keep writin, and hit me up if u wanna do a collab sumtime, one love!

i was really feelin this piece, flow was on point and u had multies to up it as well
"We’re not perfect, but we fit so perfectly" Nice pun
"But she knows we ended the book with an unfinished story" Liked the metaphor.
i liked the ended where you made the comparison to mountains flattenin and mice chasen cats instead, it helped stress the emotion you had.
oh btw "And if I know at all who you are, I haven’t gone too far" i wasnt too sure what that meant; that lines makes it sound like u haven't met that person yet, care to explain?
aye overall good piece and a nice drop

i was really feelin this piece, flow was on point and u had multies to up it as well
"We’re not perfect, but we fit so perfectly" Nice pun
"But she knows we ended the book with an unfinished story" Liked the metaphor.
i liked the ended where you made the comparison to mountains flattenin
and mice chasen cats instead, it helped stress the emotion you had.
oh btw "And if I know at all who you are, I haven’t gone too far" i wasnt too sure what that meant;
that lines makes it sound like u haven't met that person yet, care to explain?
aye overall good piece and a nice drop 8/10

It means, if I truly know who you are, the person inside, then I know my devotion was worth it...I didn't take it too far for someone who wasn't worth it.



That was some really good feed, I wish everyone was as thorough as you. Thank you so much.

-Krissy

edit: THIS IS SKANDALUZ(the original threadstarter)...I DIDN'T REALIZE OUR COMPUTER WAS SIGNED IN UNDER MY FIANCE'S NAME. WE BOTH GO ON THIS SITE AND WE LIVE TOGETHER...OOPS ;)

Jesus Christ.

this shizzzzzzz was dope.
skyll = dope. it's obviously something BOTH you and i know.

let me show you people what feed is.

Quotes.

these opening lines were hot, i was drawn in. that wave/tide concept was ill, period.


simple, but still made me smirk


dope meta.


these were hot. the last line made me go "ahhhh". good shit.

as for the hook, PERFECT.


very nice


read without ya' eyes open? hot. real hot.


mountain line was good. "One day the mice will turn around and chase the cats"<--that line amazed me. the ending was good too.

flow - perfect at times, although some lines would be stretched or end to early.
multis - your opening lines had multis and they were simple and made sense, but i took the bait and i'm glad.
concept - hot.
metas - you know what you're doing. nice.
vocab - nothing to big, but it didn't need to sound "intelligent". vocab used was best suited for this concept.
structure - great, lines were the perfect length.
overall - 9/10

keep droppin.

-A. Skyll.

also. just because this is my fiance`, does NOT mean i'm going to be ALL over her shit and gassing her. trust me, i've told her when something wasn't good. this was a dope drop though. i give credit where it's due. s'all i've ever done.