|
The Blade That Wouldn't Cut (PV vs Appocolyptik)
The Blade That Wouldn’t Cut
The past of this man, with a capsule blade in his hand Hard for one to understand the pain he has went through To live the life of a being, whose whole life has been bland? But who knew, today his day’s end could possibly pursue His troubles kept piling on one another, making it hard For his brain to function correctly as hours kept passing He goes to rehab; it only mocks the pain, scabs start to scar As feelings commence, frustration and hatred remain clashing If he had one wish, I’d be to get rid of this, and he can soon With a deadly sip, with water in his glass, the pill is gone Of course he knew what he did; he’ll be luck to last till noon This poet seeks help, his pen and paper will help him move on I’m dieing, I miss
My life, no longer exist This thing, killing me Within, did I commit a sin? My rip cage aches Lord forgive my mistakes And why I do this I regret it, I now fall abyss. He awakens, losing all memory to where he was found last Lost track of time, his name, and everything else in this world Brain fried, know why? No clue where he was, forgotten past. On top of all this, his body dismantled, suchlike it’s been hurled Was this the work of an angel? The dose should have killed Hells gates must have been full, and the heavens are filled Or was it just luck? The pill should have just killed him, but This crazy setting would be known, as the blade that wouldn’t cut |
|
isnt this a song on the audio forum that speats did??
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=229868 |
Quote:
Proactive Thoughts is Audio and Topical, therefor they have the same topics, totally diffrent verse though. Oh, Rey, it was a 1212 rhymescheme, so every other line rhymed. You're probably used to the 1122 rhymescheme, its more commonly used. |
I like it your flow was coo and everything to me it was a very very good drop keep em commin man I liked this.
|
no HoF nominations?
lmfao.. jp i half assed it. uppin |
uppin....
decent feed please |
uppin
......... |
Yeah This Was Pretty Nice Drop
Flow Was Alright, Interesting Way You Structured This To Grip The Flow, That Was Cool InItself and why the fuck am i talking in capitals anyway yeah the structure of the flow was interesting but the actuall flow itself was a bit bland, try and make it off the wall with multi-syllabic rhyming/add some half rhymes in etc content wise i was feelin' a few of your lines: Lost track of time, his name, and everything else in this world Nice As feelings commence, frustration and hatred remain clashing that was cool, but it's only a foundation to develop some sick ideas..the remain clashing concept caught my eyes perhaps you could of linked in your feelings clashing with a clash of the titan ideas or added a w'play around the clash being the rock band Ok Return the favour on my Horrorcore verse Ayperish when it's posted plz http://community.rapverse.com/showt...254#post2777254 thanks |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:46 PM. |