The Twinkle of Sunset
 

The Twinkle of Sunset

I gaze in the distance at horizons of mischief
never grounding, because the suns rays are uplifting
the skies are clear,
grifting weary travelers with false calm
and lost times,
seen through the mind but with false eyes
a deadly serenade. but I listen most intently
fighting against sin, yet hoping that it tempts me
preempts me from finishing this journey that has sent me
to choatic resolutions. though I feel the end wisping
and twisting the truth into lies that is renting
my soul. and my payment for this deed is just simply
living on the brushes edge. tearing up my means
for an existence on the border between happiness and grief
moreso one than the other. as the light dims to beams
and the night paints the pictures of lost or forgotten dreams
now the screams of the anguished r my only compass guide
and I can't turn around, no matter how hard I try
so I sail to the brink. sunset on three sides
till the journey is almost over. and in the twinkle of an eye
all the hardships and triumphs. the loves and the trails
come flooding back again. and I can only stand and smile
feeling tears in my eyes. yet there lost to denile
my fighting spirit pacifies, for I no longer have the guile
and I admit to my self, with a quiet, kingly grace
that this sailors' unkown is a most exquisite place
so I say to the sky, go ahead and set your sun
I've been dashing along, yet have nowhere else to run
I've been royal in one life. I'll be again in another
and the wind becomes chill, so my body now shudders
or maybe that's fear of the trifles I've suffered
in laying on gold, then awaking in gutters.
but it seems complete now. I'm resigned to the end
then a surprise curve is reached where the sun shines again

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=230175
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=229660

i'll drop it in a bit.

up. up. up. up.

Not Bad, Not Bad, Some Good Hot Lines in there Homes.. I like this Flavour.. I thought it might be some wack shit.. But Nah.. U kept it on point Good Structure, and Rhyme Scmeme

structure is a bit messed up in this, but nothing to major. Your imagery is ok, but you could reach alot deeper into it. Lyrics could be alot more complex to help with eotion. All though you do have some ok emotion in you rpeice.

stay elevating and stay dropping

Not bad,keep elevating n shit

aw man off th ehook but its poetry from day one homey but the lines was there and they made sense had imetry and feeling also loved this part right here

seen through the mind but with false eyes
a deadly serenade. but I listen most intently
fighting against sin, yet hoping that it tempts me
preempts me from finishing this journey that has sent me
to choatic resolutions. though I feel the end wisping
and twisting the truth into lies that is renting

Ditto this.............................