Aight Aight...your drunk stories...
 

maaaann I know you got em lol, drunk dialers, fights, crunk hook-ups, stumbles lmao, lay em on me!

I drank half a handle of Captain to myself and a bottle of Boone's Farm with a friend while playing chess...all in about an hour. Then we all dipped around 11:30 for reasons I don't know. So I was pretty tipped, and pretty much tipped over. I landed on the sidewalk and busted my chin open...the night before I had to go to my cousin's wedding. So I manned up and started walking, I only had about 6 blocks to go. Now I remember beginning the journey, and I remember being at my backdoor, unlocking it, and going up to bed. Now I don't remember shit in between those times, and somehow I got home at 3am. A little over 3 hours for me to get 6 blocks.

I also remember a dream at some point, where I was in someone's car and we had gotten pulled over. If someone I knew saw me and helped me out, that could be a whole new side to the story. Sadly, I still don't know for sure lol.

I chased a few guys with an axe before.

i had a fight with a bin once...

but i was high not pissed...

OH THE STORIES i could tell...but im not...too long and im too tired...

I've only been drunk twice so here's my "best" -_-

I left one party after graduation to go to another party and when my crew got there, there was only like 10 people, so we started drinking of course lol. I had my first shot and shit and drank about 3 Heinekins, 2 Bud Lights and had 2 more shots that I remember but other people said I was drinking the whole night. =/ Anyways, once I got tipsy I realized I wanted to go in the bounce house (don't ask) so I was in there and saw this girl and was like "Whoa, you're so pretty." and her boyfriend got all pissy pants so I apologized, and then told her to call me as soon as he turned around. I was also all over the first girl in the second row of my sig telling her I love her and shit and that I'm going to the same school that she is just so I can see her, lmao. Then people realized I was drunk and made me sit down in the back and I was talking to this one girl and asked her if she would have sex with me, she said she would but she's had the same boyfriend for 5 years, then we talked about how if she leaves him she always has me. Then I got slapped around for being mean to some fat bitch and I didn't stop talking so she got mad. Then I saw my English teacher was somehow invited so I went over and talked to him, swearing that I wasn't drunk, then challenging him to a rap battle. After that was more of the same with the first girl in the car and I crashed and the homies house. The end.

Me and my Cousin got so drunk and high that the next morning we woke up in the backyard , with mosquitoe bites all over us in Miami. =/ , lord knows what we did that night.

i neva drank b4, but i bin around my fam wen they drunk n shit, like, my 2 twin uncles got in this huge fight n tha cops came n shit n 1 of them punched my aunt or sumthin. n then my gay uncle wuz drunk n BBQ'd a big package of hot dogs, lmmfao, werd

Got drunk on a weekday right before a school holiday, so a lot of my friends were working the next day. Four of us had off, so we decided to stay out and get hammered in my friend's garage. At about 11:00 we got hungry and decided the only place open that late on a tuesday night would have to be Pat's Steaks in South Philly, but we live in NE Philly. So one of my friends decided to try and sneak his mom's car keys since none of us drove at the time. He got the keys and we were off. It takes about 20 to 30 minutes to get to SOuth Philly from NE Philly if you take the interstate, but for some reason it took us an hour and a half......and we crossed into Jersey about three times (Still not sure which bridge we were going over). Finally we got to Pat's after asking directions from a homeless guy and a hooker. We sat down and enjoyed one of the best Cheese Steaks I've ever had. Now that we were done, we started going home. A couple of us had to piss, so we pulled off the interstate (bad move) and started going down some train tracks the wrong way. We saw the light of a train too which was coming right for us! By the time we got off the tracks, we realized the train was stationary. Anyway, we get about 10 blocks from home and it's been drizzling for about 15 minutes. We see a police car stopped at a red light facing us. My friend applies the breaks and we start to skid cause his tires were bald as fuck and start going into the intersection right at the cop. He hits the gas and swerves around the cop and starts saying "what do I do, what do I do!" I immediately replied "Turn Left!" So he did and we saw the cop pull a U turn. We took another right, then a quick left down an alleyway and put the shit in park and ducked down. Of course I had to peek to see if the cop was gonna pass. I looked up and saw him roll by real slow.....then he backed up and turned down the alley. We were all like "SHIT!" but still stayed ducked down until the cops tapped on the windows.....lol. Turns out the genius of a driver had his foot on the breaks the whole time we were hiding and they saw the breaklights :(

So basically, he got a DUI, driving without a license, driving a stolen vehicle (until he proved it wasn't stolen) driving without insurance, reckless driving and fleeing the scene of a crime. The rest of us got off scott free and even got to drive the car home....lol.

I was drunk with some gurl at my house. I was having a party. And i was drunk out of my mind. And i told this broad to suck my dick. So we go to the room. And she was giving me head. And i heard a knock on the door so im like FUCK at the worst time. so she had to stop and drunk as fuck i went to the door. And what do you know. It's Officer tinpinny comin to bust my balls. LOL. no literally bust my balls. I came to the door with only a long white tee on.

Lol... Officer Tinpinny...

LOL, too much games for me.

lmao ahh man..theres lots of em...especially the overseas ones...

the best one overseas.....i was in the fucking rave club type shit in Ireland...me and my friend was dancing with this group of like 5 girls...the finest bitches in the club......there was 1 ugly bitch in their whole crew.....

I WAS DRUNK AS FUCK.....

well i just walk up behind one of em...start grindin n shit...hardcore...she turns around after about 2 or 3 min.......and its the fuckin ugly one.......i was like...OMG I NEED TO STOP DRINKING...

so she leans over and yells in my ear ( due to the club being so loud )...."any chance of a kiss?".....so i was like...uhhh fuck.....so i go..."huh?"......and she sais it again...i say "huh?" atleast 25 times........even call my boy over there...and im like..."dude wtf is she saying?"........so i tell her i need to sit down....because i cant hear anything and im too drunk.........so i go over on one of the sofas....sit there...realize im too plastered to be trying to hook up with random women......sit there for the most of the night....


but yea...usually i just show everyone my penis when im really drunk........

i was at this kids house one night....apparently staring at myself in the mirror....saying...."thats impressive"....for like 20 min. straight.......then every woman that walked in.....i would ask them if that was impressive........and best believe...they all said yes...

i had the half chub going on

Got so wasted that That i pee'd myself.

Man, I fell down bleachers and onto the court of my highschool basketball game one night while I was drunk. On my way down, I landed in all sorts of different food items. Then, when I tried to walk back up, I got about half way back up the bleachers, and fucking fell back down AGAIN, getting hurt even more. Also, there were a couple hundred people in the gym that night. It was dooooooope.