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1st Open Mic
-Yo my style stays significent focused in my New York state of mind- -Verbally abusive wit these rhymes, hungry cuz now iz my time to shine- -I waited in the back seat while these other cats ate- -Now its my turn to bring the ruckus to each and every state- -I stay write'n, cuz in my position its a given, i was given the gift- -To spark the real niggaz intrest, remain calm 'n' collected- -It took you dis long to get ya deal, i'm already respected- -In my perspective I shuld be the only kill'n these beats- -Continously above the battle field like football cleats- -The streets.......anointed me a legend in the make'n- -I'm wait'n......in the wings as the only pupil wit patience- -Pass the blunt, light the 5th, i'm back in the worse way- -Only other "College Dropout" to do it wit out Kanye- -After the 1st album i'm leave'n the country, rap career is done- -Cuz i'm in the Hall of Fame by 18, Its Mic Young n I'm out, 1- |
yo im try'na get sum feed here
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this is ok.
what i think you need to work on, is write some text peices that arent audio style nahmean?. pick a nice topic and get into some deep meta's, concepts and general idea's with it. This would be a ok little street audio, but text is wack when your tryna make it audio, if you get me? use more meta's, wordplay, and general vocab. Your peice is very simple. Try drop with more originality bro, cause this reminds me of 100 peices that pass through these forums. ok drop. stay dropping. peace |
Drop two links or this will be closed
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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2790273
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2790274 ayo i guess dats wat u want uppin dis joint |
oh naw homey it rap bu tvery low old school style let me take some of this and update it
My style stay significant and sway different like Pendulum, so hocus pocus and I’m focus ready to strike Got a great design so my state of mind is vicious and Suspicious, look I clear bounds like deer hounds and expand With a shaggy coat on my raggedy quotes but got fans Blood surging crazy like the Virgin Mary going to mangers With unknowing strangers call Chuck Norris for the Texas rangers |
Your style is fine...
Its just in its infancy. Rapping isnt about changing your style to sound like everyone else who is already established as good. Its about developing your own personal style and making it sound dope. All you need to do is keep rapping.. Keep listening to rap and reading rap, take in the vocab and rhyme schemes and all that shit by ear and incorporate them to your own shit. Its practice that makes people better. So keep doing your thing. |
good look'n fam
uppin dis for sum feedback kid |
you man this is some good shit not exactly a text peice but i could see it as a hot track with the right beat
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not bad, just gotta do wut ysdat said.
u can elevate quickly u got good shit. good ideas my man. keep it up payce |
nigga ya shit is straight fire ,you got to mind some of the feedback they give you on here cause most of the rappers are into spiritual spitting,not the gangsta shit me and you spit,
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this was all over the place, had some decent ideas, but you didnt really say anything new, for a first drop ever I say it wasnt bad, but really it wasnt good, and I can tell your new to this stuff, just keep at it, this first drop is better than most peoples first drops, so thats a place, just keep doing you, oh and try not to mispell words in ya verses it makes reading it annoying to most people and try being more creative
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I agree wit alot of people on here that it would make a better audio than text. But I like ya word play cause everyone's writtin style is different so ya really can't tell someone to write a different style. But it's a good piece the structure was also good on this.
It'z J <3 |
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