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NEVER have sex when you're drunk
Seriously, yesterday I lost my virginity (I'm 15 not 20 like people here seem to think) when I was raging drunk. I met this girl who's a nice girl, big tits, nice ass and shaved pussy. She was pretty drunk as well but I'd had fuckloads of cider and 2 cans of fosters. Pretty much all the people I was with were raging drunkards and I was one of them. So anyway I took her to the mens toilets in the town shopping centre, and they're nice toilets and all but what the fuck?
So we were both naked from the trousers down, and one of the most embarassing things happened. My friends Chris lost his virginity when he was drunk and he said he couldn't get it up and couldn't cum because the alchohol prevents the bloodflow to the penis from working properly. So he was shagging her for a while with a semi after trying for aaaaaaages to get it up and he just said "I can't do this without a hard on, sorry." I had the SAME problem, I tried for ages to get it up then finally did and was fucking her for maybe 2 minutes then banged my head on the toilet door REALLY hard and nearly lost conciousness. After that I couldn't get hard again, I was so ashamed. Big John had let me down when I most needed him. It's true I did finger and lick her out until she was squirting all over the place, but I'd rather have given her a good hard fucking ya know? At least now I can say I've had sex, but next time I'm gonna be sober as a rock and horny as fuck. ANY guy who says they had sex while they were drunk and had a raging boner are lying through their teeth. The best you can do is a semi, maybe if you've had sex loads you could get it up after a while. But damn it takes ages, and it's 100 times better when you're sober. |
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HO HO HO HO NO lol that is SERIOUSLY fucked up man... but yo...self inflicted bruv...at least you've learned...and btw...it IS possible to keep it up if ya pissed...although i fell asleep while gettin head on Sunday by my girl...that was kinda embarassing but at least when i heard her say "oh sod ya then" i woke up and blagged my way into havin a fuck so...s'all good... :thumbup: but lol what a story man seriously...i think that tops my story... lost my virginity and got my ex pregnant same night... |
I've heard worse virginity stories. My friends friend says she fucked this guy who was a virgin, and he cummed after 10 seconds. That was considerably more embarassing than mine, at least I managed to make the girl have an orgasm one way or another.
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When I lost my virginity I was 14, I think I lasted around 2 minutes...
.... lol, best part was I didn't even know the bitches name. But, word to what Apo says... having sex when drunk is fucking gay.... you spend to much time preppin the oven .... |
LMAO. dont know whats wrong with ya'll jimmis... but mine works in all conditions yo :cool:
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lmao 10 SECONDS... i'm so glad i can say that i've never done anything like that... |
10 seconds man, DAMN!
The shortest I've lasted is like 1:30... |
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i'm pretty sure you meant longest :rolleyes: lol i'm j/k bruv...but ye i was at it for an hour 30 last night...but seriously...losin ya virginity like that...aint the most romantic way to lose it...but thats one HELL of a story lol |
hahaha...hilarious story..regardless..."never have sex when you're drunk" is like saying "never take a piss when your bladder is full"
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screw an hour thirty
im tryna go to sleep maybe 30 before she start pissing me off its too much for a 10 second payoff |
thats classic...
*reminises* my first time was ass also... but find yourself a steady bitch that loves to fuck and get your practice in... give it two months and you'll be a sex machine man.... on the note of "whiskey dick" or not bieng able to get hard while drunk... yeah that happens to.. but ive only had that problem when i was completely trashed...like two bottles a goose and jager trashed... but shit... i put down a couple fizzers and fuck a bitch for a solid hour....but yeah make that bitch suck your dick first... then you'll get hard garuntee'd ... watchin a chick swallow your penis is enough to make you hard on the drunkest conditions... haha.. but yeah good story.. sorry bout ya luck... but now you aint gotta V card like serb and the rest of the lil kids in here |
lol @ serb's vcard...am i the only one who pictures a v card as an actual driver's license-like card with a picture of serb on it?
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lol when he's legally old enough to drink he'll prolly use his V card as I.D to get in the clubs... |
you're right...and likely let the big, burly bouncers take his vcard also
furthermore, june 3rd is the only good day to be born |
lmfao i actually went 30 minutes and didnt nut my first time....how gay.....
she had to be home...and well...i just couldnt get it done in time..i have no fuckin clue why..........i did the complete opposite of what most people do first time lol |
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