Life Inside a Bottle
 

just free-lanced it, i'll post links in a a few min
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3076768

where do dreams begin...and where do they end
pending you remember anything at all
right from the start, till the moment you fall
all walls stand still...motionless
the thrill of success exits down the spine
but the mind is ill; it finds comfort in hopelessness
there's no failure with no effort
survival of the fittest, when we're all dying
just a small gesture...
no pressure, life inside a bottle
like a page missing from a novel
support begins to hobble, crippled
not knowing it it'll ever balance out
you pace yourself, away from doubt
but you've crafted a palace
a callous indifference, but passive
suffering enlightens the darkest corners
life inside a bottle;
empathy to apathy, apathy to being
emotion is noble...
but not within reason

night becomes day, when yesterday follows
its a hollow gospel...
....life inside a bottle

wow really not bad at all....its good to see new faces in the poetic scriptures forum doing there thing and coming up...i see mad potential bruh, decent imagery in this thats the only thing u really need to work on alot, the emotion was good, a nice structure, the concept wasnt played to much..although used a couple times but ifelt u ececuted this read pretty well....decent stuff peace

thanks val, pretty much didn't spend alot of time on it, just wrote it up, trying to get the feel back